Love, Secrets and Lies
by TWDGamerKenny'sBro
Summary: Sonic loved Shadow. He just didn't know how to tell him. So when Shadow went to work on a top secret mission for GUN, Sonic was left broken-hearted and turned to Amy for support. One year later and deep in a relationship, Shadow returns, leaving Sonic with a tough decision. Who will he choose? (Image by Myly14) (On hiatus)
1. A Well Kept Secret

**A/N - Hello and welcome to my brand new story! It will be told from perspectives of Sonic, Shadow and Amy, with about 13 chapters. 3 chapters including this one have already been done and are waiting to be posted over the next couple of days. I had planned on finishing all the chapters before posting, but I was keen to get this out there. You may wonder why the characters are so good at writing and descriptions, but I don't think I could ever write in the style of how Sonic, Amy and Shadow talk. Each chapter has a touch of them with my own writing spin, if that makes sense.**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Sonic's POV**

Shadow and I haven't always seen eye to eye.

We were rivals the day we met, and continued to be rivals for some time. That was the case, at least, until a few years back when we decided to settle our differences and ended our long-winded, and seemingly endless battle to come out on top of the other.

We became friends.

That's what we set out to become anyway. That's what we were to each other at first. But then something changed. I got to talk to Shadow on a regular basis, and I got to understand him better. He told me so many things about himself, and I saw a side of him that I had never even seen. He always seemed so calm and collected, strong and smart, when in reality, he was a tortured soul who had spent the majority of his life being controlled. He valued friendship more than anything, and would protect those that he cared about no matter what. I admired him for that. I admired him for everything he stood for.

I don't know when my feelings for him changed.

Maybe deep down they had been there all along and I had only noticed when I got to know the real him. It's hard to say.

I tried to ignore them at first. It was the simplest solution that I could come up with at the time. Sadly that didn't quite work out for me, as my feelings for Shadow never went away no matter how much I tried to bury them. Whenever I was around him I could feel my heart beating faster, almost as if it wanted to burst out of my chest. Even when I didn't see him, he was always on my mind. He was the only thing I thought about and every moment with him I would cherish.

But I was afraid. I had considered telling Shadow how I felt, but I doubted that he would want to take the relationship further. He saw us as friends, but I wanted so much more. I wasn't even sure what more I could possibly want from him. What else could I hope to gain from our relationship? Didn't I already have enough? Maybe it was just my desire to have my feelings returned by him. But that was never going to happen. So I didn't breathe a word about it. Which, for me, was one of the hardest things to do. And yet, I was worried that he would discover how I felt about him. That he would find out about my little secret and end up rejecting me.

Apart from Shadow himself, that fear of discovery and rejection was a lingering thought.

In an effort to forget about my feelings for him, I decided to stay away from him. We talked too often, and it wasn't doing me any good. We drifted apart for a short amount of time. A few months, I think. Did it help me overcome my feelings?

No.

In absence, love only grows stronger. At least, that's what I've heard. It was true in my case.

After ceasing all contact with Shadow, I managed to have some time alone to collect my thoughts and understand my feelings better. I realised that I had to stop letting my emotions get the better of me. Shadow and I were pretty close at that point, he would understand, and with a bit of luck, he would feel the same way. With a bit more time to myself, I plucked up enough courage to tell him how I really felt.

Unfortunately, he had something important to tell me as well.

"...You're going away?" I asked, though the answer was clear and obvious. I was just in shock.

I watched as Shadow packed some of his belongings into a suitcase that was positioned on his bed. "Yeah, GUN has assigned me with some new missions which are abroad." He replied.

"But do you really have to go?" I questioned.

He turned around and began to rummage through his drawers "I have to go wherever work needs me to be." He stated. He then turned around again to face me and I took note that he was holding his dark blue GUN uniform, which he proceeded to fold and place in his suitcase. "I'm not in control of everything that happens in my life. You know that."

"How long will you be gone?" I questioned further. Honestly, my thoughts were racing a mile a minute, and there was so much I wanted to ask him before I could even get to the point as to why I had come to see him.

He shrugged "It's hard to say. I don't really know myself." He told me. There was a pause between us as he zipped up his suitcase and dragged it off the bed. Before I could ask another one of many questions, Shadow piped up with a question of his own. "So what did you want to tell me?" He asked, whilst placing the suitcase on the floor.

That was it. That was my moment, my window of opportunity to tell him how I truly felt.

But I couldn't.

Fear and panic overwhelmed me, and the thought of rejection returned. All confidence I once had was gone, and before I knew what I was doing, I just mumbled a response "Oh, nothing, it doesn't matter."

Shadow gave me an odd look. He knew something wasn't right. "Are you sure? It seemed rather important."

He gave me a second chance, another opportunity to tell him.

But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The fact that I couldn't look him in the eye and tell him three simple words was just heart breaking for me. I shook my head "No, it was nothing. Really." I insisted. Internally I was screaming, telling myself to just come out with it.

"Well, if you're sure." He replied. There was uncertainty in his voice.

Another wave of silence washed over us. Shadow examined me, as if he had been trying to decipher something from my body language. I looked away from his gaze and glanced down at the suitcase. "When are you leaving?" I asked, putting an end to the short lived, quiet atmosphere.

"Tomorrow morning." He answered. "GUN got me a flight at the nearest airport, so... this is probably the last time you'll see me for a while, which you'll be thankful of." He added, and chuckled lightly. He sounded nervous. I always found it odd to see Shadow laugh. I could never get used to it.

"Well, I'm glad I got to see you before you left." I replied, smiling faintly at him.

"Me too." He said. We stared at each other for a brief moment, and became lost in each other's eyes. Well, I'm not sure if he became lost in mine, but I certainly became lost in his. "Sonic." He addressed me, still looking deeply into my eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Wait a bit before you tell the others that I've gone, won't you?" He requested. "I don't want a huge 'going away party' or anything like that." He explained.

"Sure thing." I replied simply.

"Thank you, Sonic." He said gratefully.

I turned away from his gaze and glanced over my shoulder at the door. "Well, I better get going." I stated aloud. I wanted more than anything to get out of there. "Good luck. I hope you have a safe flight." I told him as I moved backwards, heading towards the bedroom door.

"Thanks." Shadow replied simply. Before I could leave, he addressed me one last time. "And thanks for coming round. I haven't seen you in a while and..." He paused. "I'm just glad I got to see you again, for one last time."

I didn't know how to respond that. I had already said the same sort of sentence to him. I didn't want to repeat myself or have to linger for much longer. "I guess I'll see you whenever I see you." That's all I could come up with.

"I guess you will."

With my hand wrapped around the door knob, I said my farewells "Goodbye, Shadow."

"Goodbye, Sonic."

And that was that. I blew my only chance of telling Shadow how I felt about him. That's what I believed, anyway, as I made the journey home. Alone with my thoughts once more, I came to the sudden realisation that I still had one more chance. All I had to do was catch Shadow at the airport before he left that following morning. It was the perfect plan.

I rushed home and set my alarm. I'd have to get up pretty early if I wanted to get to the airport in time. To tell you the truth, I didn't get much sleep that night, and I was awake when my alarm went off. But I wasn't going to allow lack of sleep to stop me. I ran to the airport, and as luck would have it, I found Shadow there, waiting for his flight.

He was surprised to see me. I remember the expression on his face rather clearly. It was a nice change from his usual frown. "Sonic? What are you doing here?" Shadow asked. He glanced around the airport "You didn't bring everyone here to give me a big send off, did you?"

"No, it's just me." I told him. "I-" I began, but the words became caught in my throat. It was happening all over again, I couldn't tell him how I felt. I was afraid and I just couldn't conquer my fears. "I just wanted to see you off." I finished. It wasn't a complete lie, I had come to say goodbye, but it wasn't the main reason as to why I had come.

"Wanted to make sure that you've gotten rid of me?" He joked. I chuckled lightly in response, but that little bit of laughter quickly died and then an awkward silence followed. Shadow reached behind his back and retrieved a photograph. "You left this at my house." He stated, holding it out to me. I took the photo and examined it. It was a photo of me and Shadow, our heads pressed up against each other as we smiled at the camera, which I had been holding. I was winking at the camera with a large, toothy grin on my face, whilst Shadow smiled only faintly, with his eyes more focused on me than the camera. We both looked so happy, no matter how much we decided to show it.

The photo had been taken on my 18th birthday. I took it with me often, as it had sentimental value. I most likely dropped it in Shadow's house when I went to visit him.

I was thankful that Shadow didn't question why I had it on me. You would think that I would want him to ask, but I really didn't want to explain myself. If I couldn't tell him how I felt, then I wouldn't be able to explain the significance of the photo.

"Thanks." I said gratefully, lowering the photo and looking at him.

"No problem, it's the least I could do." Shadow responded. "And it was nice of you to come, all just to give me a proper goodbye."

The intercom came on and the speakers announced the next flight that was going to take off. "Well, that's my cue. I better go." He stated, whilst picking up his suitcase. He turned to me and held out his hand. It took a moment to register, but I eventually realised that he wanted to shake hands. I held his hand and shook it.

"Shadow, I um..." I stopped myself. There was no point in trying to tell him anymore. What difference would it have made? He was going to leave anyway. I couldn't spring something so critical like that on him at the last second. It wasn't fair on him. "See you around."

Shadow nodded in acknowledgement and released my hand, and proceeded to walk away, wheeling his suitcase behind him. Once he was a fair distance away, I called out to him one last time "Shadow!"

He stopped dead and turned to face me. "Don't be a stranger!" I said cheerfully, trying to put on a brave face for him.

He smiled at me, which was enough to melt my heart. He lifted his hand and waved goodbye, and then continued to walk away. My gaze lingered on him for some time until he disappeared out of sight. I sighed deeply and looked down at the photograph in my hands once more. As I examined it more closely, I noticed that there was something written on the back. I flipped the photo over to discover that there was a message on it.

"Talk soon" - Shadow.

I gripped the photo tightly in my grasp and pulled it close to my chest.

Now, you may be thinking that we kept in touch while he was away. Well, you'd be wrong. That was the last time I saw and heard from Shadow for a long time.


	2. New Ways to Cope

**A/N: Funny story - I'm not much of a fan of Sonamy or Amy herself either. I thought it would be a good precise for the story and I hope you can tolerate it by the way I've set it out. Don't worry, the story doesn't focus on Sonamy, it's more of an underlying theme. It's there, and the story acknowledges it, but it's not completely in your face.**

 **Chapter 3 will be up on Wednesday and chapter 4 (which I'm writing at the moment) will (hopefully) be up on Friday. Next week won't have any chapters posted as I'll be writing them in advance, but they'll be posted the week after.**

 **With that out of the way, here's the chapter! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Amy's POV**

Shadow's departure happened so suddenly and caught us all off guard. We had known him several years at that point, so it was weird for him to leave so unannounced. He only told Sonic and Rouge, and allowed them to fill us in several days after he was long gone. Some of us were angry or upset that Shadow would just leave out of the blue without saying a word, but we eventually accepted that that was just who Shadow was, he didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Personally, I think he was afraid of getting hurt, since he had to leave all his friends behind.

I remember what went on around the time he went away pretty well. It was a dry period. And when I say dry, I mean that there were no Eggman attacks or plans of world domination to stop. It was unusually quiet on his end, which was never a good sign as he was probably plotting his next scheme.

I was eighteen, and living with Cream. I didn't have a place of my own, so Cream's mother, Vanilla, kindly allowed me to sleep under her roof while I looked for a house that I could call home. For a long time, I had doubted that I ever would move out, as I didn't have the rings for anywhere else. I was just sort of stuck there, which wasn't actually a bad thing. I enjoyed living with Cream and Vanilla, it just didn't feel right. Not the fact that I didn't have my own space but... Something else. Something I couldn't explain back then. It was like, a feeling- no, a longing, to be wanted and loved. Cream and Vanilla did care about me, it just wasn't the same as what I desired.

I guess it was my obsession over Sonic. I had grown and matured since I had first developed my crush on him, but my feelings for him were still there, and deep down I wanted more than anything for him to return my feelings. But I wasn't young or naive anymore, and I had come to realise that after years of chasing Sonic and constantly facing rejection, he never would love me.

At least, that's what I thought. I never could have predicted what happened next.

It was a couple of months after Shadow had left. It was a hot summer's day, and I was trying to avoid the heat inside whilst helping Cream with her homework. Despite it being the summer holidays, Cream didn't want to leave her school work till the last minute, which I thought was very responsible of her. We were sitting in her room, trying to concentrate on some maths problems with a cooling fan on. With the fan being on full blast, I almost didn't hear the knock at the front door.

Luckily enough, Cream didn't need much help with the particular question she was on, so I was unfocused enough for the repeated door knocking to catch my attention. Vanilla wasn't home, for reasons I don't recall, so it was up to me to answer it.

I quickly edged my chair out from under the desk and stood up. I placed my hand on Cream's back and patted it gently. Cream lifted her head to look up at me. "I'll be back in a second, I just need to see who's at the door." I informed her.

Cream nodded "Okay." She responded, and then she turned back to her homework.

I left her room and rushed downstairs to get the door. I had no clue as to who it could be. Maybe Vanilla had been expecting someone? But whoever it was, they were still knocking and becoming rather impatient. "I'm coming!" I called out to whoever was on the other side of the door. I ran over and quickly opened it, revealing the stranger to me.

It was Sonic.

"Sonic?" I questioned aloud.

"Hi Amy." He greeted.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, stepping out onto the porch and closing the front door behind me.

"I um..." He paused for a moment. He had his hands behind his back, but he was also avoiding eye contact with me. His cheeks began to blush a little as he tried to find his words. It was pretty clear to me that he was nervous. But I wasn't sure why. "I wanted to ask you something." He declared.

"And what's that?" I responded.

He sighed. "Look, Amy, I know this has been a long time coming and... I know I've been a bit harsh on you over the years so... I won't blame you if you say no... But I was wondering if you um..." He stopped for a moment, and then looked me dead in the eye. "I was wondering if you'd like to go on a picnic with me at the weekend?" He asked.

It took a few seconds to sink in, but once it did, I could feel myself bursting with joy. "Wait, are you asking me out on a date?"

Sonic moved his hands from behind his back "Yes, I am." He replied, sounding much more confident. In his hand was a beautiful, pure white rose. He held it out to me and I took it gratefully.

I sniffed the sweet smelling flower and smiled at him "Oh Sonic, I'd love to go on a date with you." I told him gleefully. How could I say no? I had waited years for that moment. I wasn't going to turn him down.

Sonic beamed with happiness. I tucked the white rose between my quills and then threw my arms around him, embracing him in a quick hug. Sonic pulled away and smiled at me "I'll meet you here on Saturday, at about 11 o'clock." He stated.

"Do you want me to make the picnic?" I asked.

"No, I'll make it. You don't have to worry about a thing." He told me. He began to back away, as he was ready to leave "You're going to love it, I promise." He said confidently.

"I know I will." I replied.

"I have to go, but I'll see you later, Amy." He said, waving goodbye to me and then running off.

I waved him off "Bye Sonic! I'll be looking forward to our date!" I called after him as he disappeared off into the distance.

I know it was childish and silly of me, but as soon as he was gone, I squealed in excitement. I hurried back inside and went upstairs to tell Cream about what had transpired. "Cream! You will not believe what just happened!" I exclaimed as I arrived back in her room.

Cream turned away from her homework and faced me "What?"

"Sonic just asked me out on a date!" I replied.

Cream's face lit up "Wow, that's great, Amy." She responded encouragingly. "What kind of date is it?" She then asked.

"We're going to have a picnic on Saturday." I replied.

"So you only have the rest of today and tomorrow to prepare?"

I hadn't even thought about getting ready for our date. "Oh goodness, what should I wear?" I pondered, walking up and down the room. I paused in the centre and began to bounce up and down on the balls of my feet "Should I put on makeup? What style of hair should I have? Oh, I'm just so nervous."

"I'm sure Sonic won't mind what you look like. Just be yourself and it'll be fine." She told me. She was so smart and wise for being only twelve.

I paused for a moment and stared out of the window. I then lifted my hand and touched the white rose that was still positioned between my quills, and adjusted it slightly. "Yeah, you're right. I should just be myself."

"You have plenty of time to prepare, so there's no need to be nervous. It'll be great." Cream said. She got up from her chair and took my hand "Come on, let's pick out an outfit for you to wear." She suggested.

"Good idea. I don't want to leave it till the last minute."

It still hadn't completely sunk in. I couldn't believe. After years of asking and asking... I never thought Sonic would be the one to ask me out on a date. I had waited so long for that moment and now it has finally happened.

It was like a dream come true.

* * *

 **Sonic's POV**

After months of wanting- yearning for some form of communication from Shadow, I began to doubt that he was ever going talk to me. I spent most of that time moping, frustrated and angry at myself that I hadn't told Shadow when I had the chance. I was never angry at him though. He may not have contacted me... But whenever I tried to blame it on Shadow, I always ended up blaming myself for not telling him how I truly felt when I should've. I could never hate him for my own cowardice. I had just wished he had talked to me, like he said he would. I needed him more than ever before. I missed him. And in his absence, my desire to be with him grew stronger, which only made me miss him more. Needless to say, it was a rough and lonely couple of months.

I was pretty miserable. So much so that the mask of my old positive and upbeat personality, that didn't come naturally anymore, began to slip. Tails and Knuckles were the first to notice, and thankfully also the last.

They confronted me, asked me what was wrong. I refused to tell them to begin with, but I eventually gave in and explained that I had strong feelings for 'someone' but I couldn't bring myself to tell them and didn't think they would love me in return. I left out the small detail that this 'someone' was Shadow. Tails was comforting, while Knuckles was more concerned about the identity of this mysterious 'someone' and tried to pressure me into telling them who she was. Of course they assumed that my crush was a girl.

When I didn't tell him, Knuckles guessed a few names, each of them being people we knew, until Tails managed to get him to stop bugging me about it. After they had both processed the news, I decided to do something I never thought I would do. I asked them for romantic advice.

Tails and Knuckles, despite being my close friends, wouldn't really be my first choice when it comes to the subject of love. Tails was only fourteen and didn't have a girlfriend to his name. Knuckles had a bit more experience since he was in a relationship with Rouge, but how he managed that after being isolated his whole life I will never know. Maybe he offered to share the Master Emerald with her.

Even still, I didn't want to tell anyone else about my romance troubles so I didn't have much choice. I thought, maybe if we put our collective knowledge about love and relationships together then... We'd probably know just about as much as we already did.

Tails and Knuckles surprised me with their advice. They told me that if this 'girl' was out of my reach, then I should look else where, but if I really wanted to tell 'her' how I felt, then I should practice talking to and maybe dating someone else. When I asked who, they almost immediately suggested Amy. Looking back, I think they were just trying to set me up with her.

I was reluctant at first. My doubts didn't have much to do with the stalking and kidnapping, I knew she was passed that. It was more to do with the fact that I had been constantly rejecting her. Would she really want to go out on a date after being shut down by me for so many years?

Tails and Knuckles managed to convince me to give it a shot, see what would happen. I managed to convince myself as well, since I felt like I could level with her, that I now understood how she felt. My circumstances with Shadow were a little different to what had been going on between me and her, but we had both faced rejection or at least the fear of it at one point or another.

So the next day I went over to Vanilla's house to visit Amy and picked out a nice white rose along the way. I was pretty nervous, not because I was worried about expressing my feelings, I had always made them very clear to her - that I saw her more as a friend than a lover - no, the truth behind my nervousness was that I was worried about being rejected by her. I wouldn't have blamed her if she did, I had spent so long running away from her that I had never stopped to consider how she felt. I was prepared for her to slam the door in my face for even daring to ask her out after turning her down for six years.

Once I got the words out, once I actually asked her, any doubt in my mind melted away. I saw the way she looked at me, and I saw that there was no bitterness felt towards me. I saw that she still loved me.

She said yes.

I felt confident again. I felt like I could tell Shadow how much I loved him. That if he were standing where Amy had been, then I could have been finally out with it. All of it. But then I remembered how different he and Amy were, that I might not have been able to talk to him the same way I did with her.

I decided to stop thinking about Shadow. I pushed him to the back of my mind and focused on my date with Amy. I wanted to make it good, I wanted it to be special. I wanted her to enjoy, but I wanted to enjoy it too, but I couldn't if I thought about Shadow.

On Saturday morning in mid July I prepared the picnic basket and set off to meet up with Amy. I arrived at Vanilla's house a few minutes earlier and knocked on the door, only for it to be answered by Vanilla herself.

"Hello Sonic." She greeted.

"Hi Vanilla," I responded "Is Amy ready?" I then asked.

"Oh she's just putting the finishing touches to her outfit, she'll be ready any minute now," She told me "Would you like to come in and wait for her?"

"No thanks, I'll wait out here."

"Alright then, I'll let her know that you're here." And with those parting words, she left, closing the door behind her.

I walked over to the edge of the porch and placed the picnic basket down beside my feet. I then rested my arms on the wooden frame, whilst examining the bright coloured flowers growing in the flower beds in front of me. I felt the gentle summer breeze rush through my fur, which was a welcoming change from the intense heat.

I was snapped out of my short trance when I heard the door open and close behind me. I slowly turned, and once my gaze met the person behind me, I was stunned by what I saw. Amy was standing on the porch, wearing a silky, purple polka dot summer dress that perfectly fit her figure, and blew gently in the wind. She had purple flip-flops on her feet to match her dress. She had a large, cream sun hat on her head, with a blue ribbon that matched my fur tied around it. The ends of the blue ribbon were draped down her shoulder, while the white rose I had given her was slotted in at the top. Her face was done up with make-up, although not much had been applied, but there was enough there to emphasis the redness of her cheeks and the sparkle in her bright green eyes.

I had never truly realised how beautiful Amy was until that moment.

But that wasn't the only thing about her. I knew that there was so much more to her, that she was an amazing person, who was kind and caring, strong and independent. Beauty was just a small part of that.

"Hi Sonic." She greeted, her voice sweet and pleasing to the ear.

"Hey Amy." I responded.

"Are you ready to get going?" She asked.

"Ready whenever you are." I replied as I picked up the picnic basket. I then offered her my arm.

She smiled warmly at me as the two of us linked arms and walked away from the house. I turned my head towards her as we moved along. "You um..." I struggled, not sure what word to say. After a few seconds of rushed thinking I settled on what came out of my mouth "You look great." I told her.

Amy's cheeks glowed at the compliment "Thank you." She responded with a bright, beaming smile.

We reached a lonesome tree on top of a small hill and decided to set our picnic down there. We hid in the shade of the leaves away from the hot sun, as I laid the red-checkered picnic blanket out on the ground and the two of us sat down on it. We helped ourselves to sandwiches and cakes from the basket, and I poured us both an ice cold glass of lemonade. Once we were near enough finished, we laid down and stared up at the bright blue sky and the white fluffy clouds that rolled across it.

"So how have you been?" I piped up, moving my head to look at Amy, who turned her head to look at me. "I haven't see much of you lately."

"I've been good, thanks, just been trying to find a new house." She told me.

"Oh really? How's that working out?" I questioned.

"Not very well. I haven't really found anywhere I like." She replied. "What about you, how have you been?" She asked.

"I've been good too. I'm just uh..." I paused for a moment. I wasn't sure if I should bring up the subject of romance with Amy. Then again, she was bound to find out sooner or later. "I'm just struggling with my love life at the moment." I told her.

Amy chuckled. She actually laughed. I thought that romance would've been a touchy subject around her. "You and me both." She responded. "I suppose basing your whole life trying to win the heart of someone can't lead to much good if you don't succeed. But I never thought you'd have trouble with finding someone."

"Well, things don't always work out the way you want them to."

"You want to talk about it?" She asked.

I looked up at the sky momentarily "There's not much to talk about. I just have these feelings for someone and I'm not sure how to tell them or if they'll love me back." I explained.

"I'm sure they would." Amy said honestly "You shouldn't give up, Sonic."

Looking back at it now, I'm not sure if Amy thought I was talking about her or not. That maybe she had gotten it into her head I was telling her in some backwards way that I loved her.

"Listen, Sonic, I'm sorry about all the stalking and kidnapping. It was silly of me to think I could get you to love me by going about it that way."

"You don't have to apologise, it's fine." I told her.

"It's not fine. I even tried forcing you to marry me. I was just so desperate for you to love me that I would do anything."

"It's all water under the bridge now. But you had a fighting spirit, I'll give you that. You never gave up on what you wanted. I've always admired you for that." I expressed my feelings. "Look, I don't know if today will go anywhere, but I'll always be happy to spend time with you." I wanted to make sure that Amy didn't think this was going to lead into a relationship. I didn't want to disappoint her.

She seemed to take it well "I understand. I'll always be around to talk about romance troubles. We can compare who's love life is worse."

I grinned at that. "It's definitely mine."

"No way! You didn't spend the majority of your life dedicated to winning the heart of one person." She argued.

The two of us managed to keep a straight face for a few seconds before we started laughing. I'm glad we were able to make light of what we had been through. I hadn't laughed since Shadow had left. Something about Amy made me feel so much better. Her smile, her energy, her laugh... It was enough to forget months of loneliness and heart break.

We both fell silent for a moment, when out of nowhere, Amy leaned towards me. I was clueless at first, but even when I realised what was happening I did nothing, I was simply stunned and didn't know what to do. Our lips almost touched... I could feel her breath on my mouth... Soft, gentle, shallow... But before we could make contact, Amy pulled away and quickly sat up.

She let out a choked gasp as she put her hands to her face, almost like she was trying to hide away from me. "I'm sorry." She apologised. "I'm such an idiot. Chaos knows what you think of me now." She lowered her hands and rested one on the picnic blanket fairly close to me and the other on the grass.

I watched silently as she gripped the grass, purposely avoiding my gaze. After a brief moment of quiet, I reached out to her and placed my hand on her's "Oh Amy, you're not an idiot." She turned her head towards me, her emerald green eyes glistening in the sunlight. "I think you're wonderful."

A loud rumble overhead interrupted us. I quickly looked up to see a large grey cloud beginning to roll in. We shared a panicked glance before we jumped up and packed away the picnic as quickly as we could. Heavy rain began to pour down not long after, so I swept Amy up off her feet and sprinted for home.

I'm not sure why I took Amy home. I wasn't really thinking, I just wanted to find shelter as soon as possible and home was what I automatically thought of. We arrived there drenched, my fur was soaked through to the skin, and Amy's dress was dripping.

We stood in the hallway, watching the rain bouncing off the ground outside, before we both let out a sigh of relief. "Do you mind if I use your bathroom to dry off?" She requested.

"Sure, go ahead." I replied. "It's just through that door over there." I told her, pointing my finger in the direction she needed to go in.

She slipped off her flip-flops and hung her hat up on one of the coat pegs, before hurrying over to the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. I dumped the picnic basket in the kitchen and then slumped down on the couch in the living room.

The bathroom door opened and Amy peered out "Can I use one of your towels?" She asked.

"You don't want to touch mine, it's been on the floor." I replied "I'll get you another." I told her, getting up off the couch and grabbing a towel from the washing, and then heading over to the bathroom and handing it to Amy.

"Thanks." She said gratefully, before closing the door once again.

I sat back down on the couch and waited, listening to the sound of the rain on the roof. I heard the bathroom door open for a second time "Sonic, could you hang my dress up on the radiator to dry?"

I got up and approached her "Sure." I replied, taking the dress off Amy, who's body was obscured by the door. As I went to hang the dress up, I remember thinking that Amy was probably naked or at least half naked behind that door, although I tried not to picture it.

I sat on the couch and waited a little while longer until Amy finally came out, wrapped up in a blue towel. "Is my dress dry yet?" She asked.

"Not even close." I replied, glancing over at the dress that was still dripping wet.

I looked over at Amy. Her face was wiped clean of makeup, allowing me to see her natural beauty. I wondered why she had done herself up when she looked fine without it.

"I didn't think the weather could turn so suddenly." She muttered, whilst walking over to the couch.

"Must be a summer shower." I stated. Almost on cue, a flash of lightening illuminated the room, followed by rumble of thunder overhead. "A really heavy summer shower." I corrected myself.

"Can I sit down?" She asked.

"Of course you can." I replied, shuffling over to make room for her. "Once it clears up I'll walk you home. If your dress isn't dry by then you're welcome to help yourself to anything in my wardrobe." I offered.

"I wasn't aware you even had clothes." She responded.

I smiled "You'd be surprised."

Amy edged a little closer to me, but I didn't care. "Y'know, I enjoyed today. I really would like to do this again sometime." She told me.

"Me too."

"We'll just have to check the weather forecast next time."

I laughed at that little remark. I looked at Amy. She was inches away from me. I glanced down at the towel that was draped around her, and noticed that it was slipping down her shoulder. I lifted my hand. Amy didn't move, she just gazed up at me. I took hold of the towel and adjusted it for her.

I found myself lifting my hand a little higher and touching her face. I ran my fingers along her soft, pink fur and caressed her cheek. Amy moved her head towards me, and I moved mine towards her's. Our lips touched, and in that moment, all I could think about was her.

After all those years of running away from Amy, maybe I should have stopped and let her catch up.


	3. An Unexpected Return

**A/N: Thanks for all the feedback and support so far! From all the Sonadow fans and Sonamy fans and regular fans alike. You're the best.**

* * *

 **Sonic's POV**

You don't just get over someone over night.

I was never able to get over my feelings for Shadow, even when I got into a relationship with Amy. After our picnic date we carried on going out together and it just sort of hit off from there. We saw and spoke to each other often, becoming closer and closer, until we were practically inseparable. Time swept gently forward, summer became autumn and then autumn was swiftly followed by winter.

I remember one snowy day in late November, Amy and I were wrapped up warm and walking hand in hand through the park. The two of us stopped by a bench and sat down. I told her how happy she made me and how I wished we could always be together. And so, that was the day that I asked her to move in with me.

Amy was overjoyed and immediately said yes. Once she moved in, I realised how deeply rooted in my life she had become and I couldn't even imagine what it would be like living without her. I still heard nothing from Shadow, but his promise was a distant memory to me. I may have still loved him, and he was still a lingering thought in my mind, but I had Amy in my life and that was enough to keep me going.

He was brought up in conversation every so often, Amy would ask if I had talked to him and I would say no as that was the honest truth. That's all she would ever ask about Shadow, thankfully. I never spoke about what Shadow meant to me around Amy. I never told her the real reason behind why I had asked her out in the first place. I thought it would be better if it remained a secret and I intended on keeping it that way.

The year started anew and winter turned to spring as the snow melted away. Summer arrived once again with the hot weather in toe. Amy and I celebrated our one year anniversary and welcomed the idea of more long and happy years to come. The future was looking bright.

But then one day everything changed and my life went spiralling out of control all over again.

It was nearing autumn, and Tails had invited us to a party he was organising. It was a huge get together, bringing all our friends into one room for a big reunion. I hadn't seen the majority of my friends in what felt like forever, the only people I had seen on a regular basis were Tails, Knuckles and Amy, obviously.

Amy wanted me to dress up smart, so she dug through my wardrobe, only to find that the majority of clothes in there were too casual or far too small. Eventually we found some black jeans and a white shirt, which she said would have to do. I for one hated wearing pants and having the shirt buttoned up right to the collar was pretty uncomfortable. But I tolerated it, since it seemed to make Amy happy. I just hoped she didn't want to make me wear clothes on a regular basis.

On a late Sunday afternoon, we arrived at Tails' house where we were greeted by the two-tailed fox himself "Hi Sonic, hi Amy, it's great to see you here." He said, embracing me in a quick hug.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Well, you better come in then" he responded with a smile, welcoming us into his house "You look really nice, Amy." He complimented her.

Amy was wearing a silky, blue dress that matched my fur and had her pink hair tied up into a bunch on the top of her head. "Aw, thank you, Tails." She replied gratefully.

Everyone was at the party, even Mighty, Ray, Fang, Bean, Bark and a couple of others I hadn't seen in what really was forever. It was good seeing so many of my friends again, watching old friends chatting with new ones. It was like one big family reunion.

Everyone except... Shadow. I shook my head and pushed him to the back of my mind. I couldn't think about him, I was there to enjoy myself, I couldn't allow thoughts of him to put me down.

"You can help yourself to some punch if you like." Tails told me, directing me over to the snack table which had a big bowel full of dark purple liquid. I nodded in gratitude and began to pour myself a glass, when Amy placed her hand on my shoulder in order to catch my attention.

"I'm going to go catch up with Rouge and Blaze, but I'll come find you once I'm done."

"Sure thing. Once I've had some of this punch and a couple of snacks I'll be doing the rounds so we might end up bumping into each other." I replied.

Amy hummed in response. "Well, I'll see you later then. Enjoy your punch." And with that, she left, disappearing into the crowd.

I leaned back against the table and began to drink the punch. Knuckles came up to me and picked up some snacks "Hey Sonic." He greeted. "I see you managed to get away from the mrs."

I couldn't help but smirk at that "Very funny, Knux. I see you managed to get away from yours too." Knuckles always used to tease me about Amy, even before we started dating. I used to get really defensive about it, but I was passed that. It's funny how things can change.

"Hah. No way, she's the one who ditched me as soon as we got here, but I'm not complaining."

"Knuckles!" A loud voice boomed. The two of us looked over to see Vector fast approaching.

"Oh no." Knuckles murmured.

Vector wrapped his arm around Knuckles and pulled him in close. At first, I thought he was giving him a hug, but once he started rubbing his head with his fist I realised he was giving him a noogie. Knuckles didn't seem to like it that much, judging by the frustrated expression he had on his face. "It's good to see you old pal!" Vector exclaimed. "How you been?"

Knuckles ignored his question and pulled away "Get off me you oversized lizard." He growled. He stumbled back and ended up crashing into me, which led to my glass of punch being spilt all over my shirt.

Knuckles whirled around and glanced at me and then at the purple liquid that was now dripping from my clothes. "Oh gosh, I'm really sorry, Sonic." He apologised.

Vector frowned and scratched the back of his head awkwardly "Yeah, I'm sorry too." He added, although he avoided making eye contact.

I sighed and put my glass down on the table "It's fine, don't worry about it." I told them. "I'm going to go and get cleaned up." I stated, gesturing over to Tails' kitchen with my thumb.

"Okay." Knuckles replied with a brief nod. As I walked away, I heard him turn to Vector and say "That was your fault!"

"No it wasn't!" Vector argued back.

I rolled my eyes as I got further away. I wasn't angry at Knuckles or Vector, these things tended to happen, although Amy would have freaked if she had been there. If anything, I ought to have thanked them. I had wanted to take that shirt off ever since I put it on.

Their argument became distant once I reached the kitchen and entered the room, flicking on the light switch as I did so. I closed the door behind me, shutting out the sound of the party. It was calm and quiet in there, which was a nice change of pace from the lively atmosphere on the other side of the door.

I began to unbutton my shirt as I approached the sink. I then removed the item of clothing and turned on the cold tap, allowing the water to run for a few seconds before I put the shirt under it and attempted to remove the stain. Luckily enough, the punch washed out rather easily, so I stopped scrubbing and left it for a bit to make sure it completely wash out.

I stared out of the open kitchen window at the starry night sky and I felt the cold, early autumn wind blowing through the gap. I let out a sigh of relief, thankful that I was finally rid of that shirt. It was like my body could finally breathe again and take in the fresh air. I heard the sound of muffled voices coming from the other room as the party was in full swing. I wondered how Amy was doing, hopefully she was having a better time than I was at that point.

As my mind wandered and I became more unfocused, I began to notice another presence. I wasn't completely alone in that room.

"I never thought I'd see the day." A familiar voice spoke up, shattering the once quiet atmosphere and startling me a little. I spun around, stunned into silence by what I saw.

Shadow - the black and red hedgehog who had been missing from my life for over a year - was standing on the other side of the room, leaning against the fridge with his arms folded and a small smirk on his face. "You're wearing pants."

My mouth fell open momentarily but I quickly shut it. "Shadow?!" I exclaimed. A huge smile emerged on my face as I crossed the room to join him. I felt a rush of happiness flow through me. I wasn't angry, I wasn't upset. I was overwhelmed with joy. He was here. He was back. That's all that mattered. "It's so good to see you."

His smirk turned into a sincere smile "It's good to see you too."

"How long have you been back?" I asked.

"Only a couple of days." He told me. He then stared at me for moment, taking in all the details of my face and my body as if he was looking at me for the first time. "You've gotten taller." He commented.

I hadn't noticed our height difference until he pointed it out. I was, in fact, taller than him, but only by a few inches. "I guess being immortal isn't all it's cracked up to be, huh, shorty?" I teased.

Shadow frowned "I had almost forgotten how annoying you can be. Can't say I missed that." He grumbled.

"But you admit that you missed the rest of me?" I pried.

"Don't push it." He responded, but he couldn't quite keep a straight face, I could even see the corner of his mouth twitching.

"So how have you-" I began, only to be interrupted when the kitchen door burst open and Amy rushed in.

"Oh Sonic, your shirt!" She cried, completely oblivious to Shadow's presence. "Where is it? It's not stained, is it?"

"Calm down, Ames, I handled it. I put it under the tap. It's fine. I just might have to put it in the washer when we get home." I explained.

"Oh good." She responded, giving me a small peck on the cheek. And Shadow saw it. I was looking right at him when Amy kissed me. His smile fell and I saw the look of shock in his usually calm eyes. I would've wanted to tell him about me and Amy on my own terms, not like that. That was possibly the worse way he could've found out.

Only after Amy had kissed me did she realise that Shadow was in the room with us. "Oh hi Shadow, I didn't know you were back, it's really good to see you. How have you been?" She asked. She sounded equally as pleased to see him as I was, although our motivates were different. She was seeing a long lost friend while I was seeing a long lost lover.

Shadow smiled at her, and I was unsure if it was genuine or not. "I've been good, thank you." He replied. He then looked at the two of us for a few seconds. "And I see you've finally caught Sonic. How did you manage that?" He questioned.

Amy giggled "I didn't, Sonic was the one that asked me out."

Shadow looked directly at me, his face masked with not even a hint of emotion he was feeling at that moment "I see. It would seem that after all those years of chasing him he must have finally given in."

"It was about time that he did." Amy responded, laughing lightly with a beaming smile on her face. They were talking like I wasn't even there. At least, Amy was, while Shadow's eyes hadn't left me.

Shadow turned away from my gaze and focused on Amy "Well, I better go, I have some catching up to do, but it was nice seeing you both." He told us, before turning towards the kitchen door. He gripped the handle and paused before leaving "And good luck to you. I hope you're very happy together." And with those final words, he departed.

"Shadow wait!" I called after him, but he had already gone.

I hurried over to the kitchen door, planning on following him. "Sonic, where are you going?" Amy asked me.

"I'll be back in a sec, Ames." I told her. I didn't have time to explain myself, I needed to catch up to him.

Once I arrived back in the party room, I found that Shadow was no where to be seen. I hurried over to the snack table where Knuckles and Vector still were. They were no longer fighting, instead they were hanging out together and acting like best buds. I decided not to question the sudden u-turn in attitude.

Knuckles spotted me as I came over "Hey Sonic. Sorry again, y'know, about earlier." He apologised.

"It's okay. It was an accident." I responded. The spillage on my shirt was the last thing that was on my mind. "Have you seen Shadow around here?" I then asked.

"Shadow? I thought he was still working abroad?" Knuckles questioned. He too was clueless to that fact that Shadow was back.

I sighed "So did I." I muttered, moving passed him and Vector. He clearly wasn't there. My first thought was to check outside. Maybe he had left. There was only one way to find out.

The stench of smoke hit my nose as soon as I stepped outside, but I wasn't sure where it was coming from. I knew there couldn't be a fire, but I couldn't figure out what it could be. I was too busy wondering where Shadow had gone to worry about it though.

I walked down to the stone steps that led up to Tails' house, but Shadow was no where in sight. "You know, Sonic, if you're going to wear pants then you normally should wear something on top to go with it." A voice commented.

I turned round to see Rouge leaning against the outside wall of Tails' house, a cigarette in between her index and middle finger. The source of the smoke. She put the cigarette to her lips and inhaled, the tip glowing orange in the darkness as she did so. She removed the joint from her mouth and lowered her hand, flicking some ash onto the ground whilst exhaling deeply, with a grey cloud of smoke passing from her lips and drifting up to the sky. The smoke rising from the cigarette surrounded Rouge's head like a grey musty halo.

I'm not sure how she did it, but Rouge managed to make smoking look elegant.

"Hey Rouge." I greeted, smirking at her as well as her comment.

Rouge smiled back at me. "Hey Big Blue."

Me and Rouge had sort of a fling in the past, before she started dating Knuckles and before I developed any feelings towards Shadow. There were no romantic feelings between us, it was just... A few nights of passion. That's when she gave me my nickname, and it just stuck, even when we decided to stay friends. Though I won't tell you what she meant by big... And blue.

"Knuckles causing you any trouble?" She asked.

"Not much... Apart from spilling punch all over my shirt." I replied.

She chuckled "He's such an idiot," Her laughter quickly died, but a faint smile remained her face. "I've always loved that about him."

"Don't suppose you've seen Shadow around, have you?" I asked, shifting the topic and getting back to the more urgent matter. Chit chat would have to wait for another day.

"Yeah. He went for a walk in that direction." She told me, gesturing with her free hand at the path that led into the woods. "I think he just needed some space."

I glanced at the woods and then back at Rouge "How come?"

"It's hard for him, being away for so long on his own and then coming back to be surrounded by all of his friends all at once. You know how he is normally, so it must be really overwhelming."

"Did you know he was back?" I asked.

"Sonic, I work with him. Of course I did." She responded. "GUN told me in advance that he was coming back and would be attending missions with me again. It was such a great coincidence that he was coming back when this party was on. So I called him before he was due to arrive and we arranged for him to not speak to anyone so that he could surprise everyone today. I snuck him in the back and he hid in the kitchen... Where you must have found him, right?"

I nodded in response.

"He just needs a little bit of time to adjust that's all. He'll be back to his old self in no time."

I looked at the woods once again and then back at Rouge "I'm going to go talk to him." I declared, walking over to the steps.

"Okay." Rouge replied.

I glanced back at her "You're not going to stop me?" I questioned.

She shook her head "No. I think talking to you will do him the world of good. After you two put your rivalry aside you seemed really close." She told me. "Go easy on him, won't you?"

I nodded firmly "I will."

She tossed her cigarette to the ground and grinned out the embers with the heel of her boot "Good luck." She said. She opened the front door, and paused in the doorway for a moment and looked at me. The two of us shared eye contact before she walked inside and shut the door behind her.

I hurried down the steps and rushed over to the woods. I then slowed my pace as I went down the woodland path so that I wouldn't end up running passed him. I admired the bright, yellow glowing fireflies that floated amongst the trees and the bushes as I walked. Eventually, the dense trees seemed to thin and I reached a clearing.

Shadow was sitting on a rock beside a small pond, running his fingers along the surface of the water and causing ripples to stretch across the pool. Fireflies danced around him as he sat there, his gaze fixated on the water, although he looked to be lost in thought.

I slowly approached him, with the grass crunching under my feet, but he didn't notice my presence. I stood there for a moment, admiring him. Words cannot convey how happy I was to see him back, no matter if I was dating Amy or not. After a few seconds of standing in silence, I cleared my throat and spoke up "Hi Shadow."

Shadow wasn't startled, he didn't even flinch. He shifted his gaze off the water and looked at me. "Oh hello, Sonic." He responded.

"Why did you run off like that? We weren't done talking." I asked.

He looked back at the pond "We weren't? I'm sorry, I didn't realise. I thought you would have wanted to talk to Amy."

The ripples on the pond began to disperse. I drew closer, and saw mine as well as Shadow's reflection in the water, along with the large, silver moon. Shadow had a large frown on his face, which wasn't exactly on unusual for him, but it was a lot different from his normal resting face. He looked unhappy.

I sat down on the grass beside the rock he was sitting on. "Shadow, I can talk to Amy any time I want, but I haven't seen you in over a year. I don't think Amy will mind if we do a little catching up."

Shadow lifted his head and gazed off into the distance. "A year? Has it really been that long?" He questioned.

"A year and about five months." I replied.

"I didn't even realise. Then again, I don't notice the passage of time all that well." He explained. There was a pause, and then Shadow looked at me again, but his gaze lingered this time. "So, where were we exactly?" He asked, referring to our earlier conversation.

"Well, I was going to ask you how you've been. What you been up to all this time?" I responded.

"I've been good. As for what I've been doing... I've been working on quite a few missions. I'd go into more detail, but I'm afraid it's classified."

"That's fine. I don't want you to get in trouble with GUN." I stated.

"What about you?" He asked.

"I've been good too. Really good, actually." I told him.

"Because of Amy?" He asked. He didn't allow me to answer. "How long have you been dating her?"

"Well, we started going out together a few months after you left and have been ever since." I explained.

"Congratulations, by the way. Here I thought you weren't interested in her but then you go and surprise me." He said. He was smiling at me. He seemed so genuine, so pleased for me. I couldn't tell if he was being truthful or if he was hiding his true feelings. I couldn't read him at all.

"Thank you, Shadow." I replied gratefully.

He went quiet again, and looked at the pond. "Does she make you happy?" He asked. His tone had shifted. He sounded concerned. Or maybe he wanted to know that I was happier with her than I would've been with him. Or maybe I was just looking at it too hard and trying to find some sort of feelings he had towards me that might not have been there. Perhaps he was just being a friend and looking out for me.

I picked my words carefully. I decided to be truthful. "Yes. Very."

That doesn't mean I wouldn't have been just as happy with him.

"I'm glad."

We both fell silent. Shadow was avoiding my gaze, while I was looking at him, trying my best to find some sort of hint that would tell me how he truly felt. "Listen, Sonic, I'm sorry for not talking to you while I was away. I know I promised I would, but work got in the way. I barely had any time to myself let alone anyone else. I know it must have been hard, feeling like you were being ignored. I should have made time for you." He said guiltily. He looked at me again, and his eyes remained on me. "But I'm here now if you ever want to talk. Just say the word, and I'll be there, whenever you need me."

I smiled at him "And I'm here if you ever want to talk too. You don't have to feel bad about not speaking to me, I get why you couldn't. You don't have to be sorry."

My ears pricked up to the sound of music in the distance. Tails must have put some on back at the house. "Say," I began, whilst standing up "Why don't you come back to the party? You still need to make your surprise entrance."

"I don't know. So much has changed and I haven't spoken to any of them in so long, and I left without saying goodbye. I don't think I could face them, what if they hate me?"

"They won't hate you. What happened is in the past now, and I know that they'll be more than happy to see you. Just give it a chance." I encouraged him. I then offered him my hand "Come on, I'll be right there with you."

Shadow sighed "Alright, you've twisted my arm." He ignored my hand and stood up on his own. I wasn't bothered about him not taking it, he could get up himself after all. It just... It made me feel like we were still distant, even though we were no longer separated. There was this underlying feeling... A worry... A fear... That I might have been losing him.

The two of us walked side by side along the woodland path. I put my arm around his shoulders in a friendly manner. He didn't mind, he didn't even shrug me off.

"Sonic, I know we were joking around earlier but... Well, I just wanted you to know... I missed you." He told me.

"I missed you too"

I wish things could've turned out differently between us. I should have told him how I felt about him when I had the chance. I had messed up. And it wasn't going to get any better.


	4. Just Like Old Times

**A/N: As promised, I finished this one for today. I was already writing it in advance so it should be on par with the others. I'm not sure when I'll post the next couple of chapters as they're not written yet, but you'll be the first to know.**

 **Just a little teaser, but all this build up is going to have a lot of pay off in chapter 5.**

 **Anyway, here's Shadow's first POV chapter.**

* * *

 **Shadow's POV**

I wasn't exactly oblivious about how Sonic felt about me.

I had my suspicions, and I knew something wasn't quite right. I noticed that the way he treated me changed not long after we set our rivalry aside. The way he was around me, the way he acted, the way he spoke... It was different. Different to how he treated everyone else. It was... Special.

The only problem was that I wasn't completely certain if what I had observed was true. I had thought about confronting him about it, but I didn't think it was right for me to put him on the spot like that. I thought I knew Sonic, that he was outspoken and would hold nothing back, so if he had something to say then he would just say it.

I couldn't have been anymore wrong.

I knew he wanted to tell me something before I left, but it was hard for him to come out with it. I shouldn't have let it go unsaid, I should have encouraged him, I should have helped him. I should have made it easier for him, to bridge the gap between us that he didn't dare cross. Instead I did nothing.

I had intended on talking to Sonic while I was away, I even put a note for him on the back of that photo. I made a promise. I thought if we could talk through email then maybe he could say what he wanted through text instead of having to say it to my face. But things didn't turn out like I wanted them to. Working for GUN kept me busy. Unbelievably busy. I barely had any time for myself let alone anyone else. Whenever I did have some free time, that was simply to take a quick breather before I moved onto the next mission.

If I could do my life over again, I'd go back to the exact moment that Sonic was going to confess and tell him that he didn't have to fear anything. That no matter what he had to say, I would understand and that we would work it out together. Sadly, some things aren't so easily changed.

When I came back, I had half-expected that Sonic wouldn't want anything to do with me after ignoring him for over a year.

I was wrong again.

After the party, Sonic visited me on a regular basis. He'd come over to my apartment and we'd talk over coffee, or we'd go out to 'grab a bite to eat' as he'd say. It was normally chilli dogs. He filled me in on everything I had missed, what he'd been up to, and what people he had been in contact with had been doing while I was gone. There was a lot of catching up to do that couldn't be covered in one day.

Amy would come along every so often. At first, I thought she was just a tag along and it might have been a bit of a 'threes a crowd' situation. But she was just as helpful as Sonic was. She was caring, supportive and helped me reintegrate with old friends. She was very good to me.

I could see why Sonic chose her.

I don't know what I would've done without either of them. I probably would have ended up going back to my old ways of being reclusive and completely alienate myself. Amy was great and I was thankful to have her around. As for Sonic, I appreciated everything he did for me. He showed me so much kindness, even though I didn't give him much reason to. It made me feel like I didn't deserve it. But I was glad that he was there for me. He could have chosen to be bitter, he could have avoided me altogether. But he chose to be my friend despite everything else. That's just who he was.

Sonic and Amy made a good team. They were good together. It was so clear to me.

It was also clear to me that Sonic had changed. He had moved on and put everything behind him. What had happened between us, how he felt about me, what he had wanted to tell me... That was in the past. He seemed so happy to be with her. And if Sonic was happy, then I was happy.

You probably want to know if I felt the same way about Sonic as he felt about me. Well, it's hard for me to say. Back then, I had never felt any romantic feelings towards anyone. I had loved Maria, but she was more of a sister to me than anything else. I did care about Sonic... But was that really the same as love?

I did consider talking to Sonic about what he had wanted to tell me, but I felt that it would be pointless and would only serve to cause trouble. He had moved on. It was time for me to do the same.

Eventually, I began to feel less like an outsider around my own friends. It was almost like I had never been away. Once I was finally caught up and became fairly accustomed to all the changes, I began to see less of Sonic. I'd see him once or twice every so often. I didn't mind it, though, he had a girlfriend after all, so I knew where his priorities lied.

He'd turn up unexpected the majority of the time, with one day in particular being no exception. That was the day when I started to realise that some things hadn't been left in the past.

I had a large amount of paper work to sort through. Practically a mountain of it stacked up in my living room. If you had told me that I'd have to do this much paper work before I started working at GUN, I wouldn't have signed up... Well, that's a lie, I still would have joined. I was fine with doing it, it couldn't always be action and adventure after all.

I had to hand it in by the end of the week, so I had planned on getting it done that day so I'd have the rest of the week free. It was around 8 o'clock at night when I decided to take a break and make myself some coffee. I had made fairly good progress and hoped to finish after a bit more time.

With my ready made coffee in hand, I was all set to tackle the last of the paper work. I sat down on the sofa and placed a large pile on my lap. I was just about to get started, when there was a knock at the door.

I sighed, had a quick sip of hot coffee, took the files off my lap and walked over to the door. I peered through the peep hole to see Sonic waiting outside. I opened the door for him "Hello, Sonic, what a surprise." I greeted sarcastically.

"Hi Shadow, sorry about turning up like this, but I wanted to ask you something." He told me. His voice was very hurried.

"And what's that?" I asked.

"Well, I bought two tickets for the summer fair and I wondered if you wanted to go with me." He replied, showing me the tickets. He was shoving them in my face.

"Little late for a summer fair, isn't it?" I questioned.

"It's never too late to enjoy a bit of summer." He responded.

I frowned "Sonic, it's September, summer is over."

"You try telling that to all the kids and adults at the theme park."

"Why are you asking me anyway? Shouldn't you go with Amy?" I quizzed. It was a fair thing to assume, she was the first person he really should be asking.

"I did, but she was busy tonight and I'd rather go with someone instead of getting a refund on my spare ticket and be by myself." He explained.

"And of all the people to ask you chose me?"

"Oh come on, Shadow, everyone else I've asked said no!" He exclaimed. He sounded so childish.

"How many people have you asked?" I was skeptical about the whole thing.

He paused for a moment "Well, there's Amy..." He was counting on his fingers "And Amy..."

"I'm the only other person you've asked aren't I?" I questioned.

"Yeah..." Sonic sighed. "So will you go with me?"

"Sonic, you're twenty two years old, why are you going to a theme park?" Back then, I wasn't actually sure if my statement about his age was true. After being missing for a while, all his other birthday's seemed like a blur and for the life of me I couldn't remember how old he had been when I'd left. It was hard to guess his age, since he still looked and acted like a teenager. He was so unbelievably childish, but it did make me laugh internally.

"Okay, now you're just avoiding the question."

He didn't correct me so I was most likely in the clear.

"Fine. You want me to give you an answer? No. I can't go because I'm busy right now, I have some paper work to hand in by the end of the week." I told him. I then moved out of his line of sight so that he could see the massive job that awaited me.

"End of the week? Then you have plenty of time to finish it. How about you take a break and have some fun with me? It's just one night."

I sighed and put my face in my palm and rubbed my temples. I then lifted my head back up "Fine, you win, I'll go with you, but don't make this a regular thing." I warned.

"Yes!" He fist pumped "You're going to love it, I know you will."

"Sure." I muttered. I doubted it. I grabbed my brown, leather jacket off the coat hook and put it on. I then stepped out of the apartment and locked the door. I slipped the key into my pocket and followed Sonic out of the building.

I couldn't believe I had agreed to it. I still can't believe it. I was a government agent for crying out loud and I was avoiding my work to play on some rides for a few hours. On the other hand, I couldn't help but feel happy to spending time with Sonic and pushing the boundaries of the rules. I knew I could still get the paper work done in time, but it was still sort of... Exciting.

The theme park was in walking distance. You could see the ferris wheel from where we set off. Sonic went on and on about how excited he was to go. I blocked out most of it. We arrived quickly and handed over our tickets and received some tokens for the rides.

There were so many people, young and old. There were children running around screaming and laughing, with their parents keeping a mindful eye on them as well as enjoying themselves. There we couples spending time with each other and completely absorbed in what they were doing. It was such a lively atmosphere and I could feel the positive energy all around me.

"Hey, look, it's the tunnel of love." Sonic pointed out.

I glanced over at the ride. There were swans that you could sit in that went through a large, bright red love heart. What was through it I did not know and did not want to find out.

"I'm not going on that with you." I stated.

"I wasn't going to suggest it!" He cried, looking away from me and blushing. "You want to go get some candy floss?" He asked, changing the subject as fast as he could. His cheeks were still flushed pure red.

"Maybe later." I replied.

"Oh, okay... How about the roller coaster?" He asked, pointing at the ride.

I watched as some people rode the caterpillar shaped roller coaster, screaming as the went racing up and down on the elevated track.

"I'd rather not."

"Too fast for you? He joked. "Maybe you'd like to ride the ferris wheel then?"

I shrugged "Sure." I said simply.

"That's the spirit! Come on, let's go!" He exclaimed, grabbing my arm and pulling me over to the ferris wheel.

We handed over our tokens and got into a green coloured carriage and sat down. The ride started not long after and the obnoxious music began to play. The music faded out of my mind as I stared out at the landscape as we ascended.

Once we reached the top, I went from bored to mesmerised. I could see everything. The fair ground and all the people below me, and the houses and city buildings that stretched out towards the horizon, with their bright orange lights that lit up the landscape. And above me was the sky, with millions and millions of stars, twinkling and shining in the darkness. But the most beautiful thing was the pale, silver moon, that seemed so large and so close. It was almost like I could reach out and touch it.

Space. Once the only home I had ever known.

Sonic's hand brushed against mine. I glanced over at him, wondering if he had tried to hold my hand, but he was facing the other way and admiring the view. He looked over at me and was confused momentarily by my expression before he realised what he had done "Oh, sorry, I was just trying to get comfortable." He apologised.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't tell if he had tried to make a move and chickened out or if he was being truthful and it had just been a mistake. I turned my head and stared up at the stars for the rest of the ride. I watched them get further and further away from me until we were eventually back on the ground.

"What do you want to do now?" Sonic asked as we walked past several stalls. There was hook-a-duck and a strongman game and a...

"What about that?" I pointed out.

It was a stall lined with stuffed animals prizes. I didn't much care for the prizes, I was more focused on the pyramid stacked bottles inside.

"The ball toss? Now you're talking!" Sonic exclaimed before rushing over to the stall. I followed him over. "I bet you can't knock down those bottles."

"Are you serious? Of course I can." I retorted. "I'm the Ultimate Lifeform. I can throw beams of chaos energy. I think I can throw a ball at some bottles."

Sonic shook his head "I bet you can't knock down even one." He teased.

"Well, I bet you can't knock down any either."

We were arguing over a carnival game. The sparks of our old rivalry were being reignited by such a simple thing. It was rather thrilling.

Sonic leaned his head towards me "I challenge you to a ball toss. We both get one shot. Whoever knocks down the most bottles wins." He dared.

I leaned my head towards him, our noses touched as we stared each other down. "You're on."

Sonic slammed a couple of tokens down on the stall. "Two balls please."

The stall manager handed us two balls, one for Sonic and one for me. "Take your best shot." He said in a thick accent.

"Ladies first." Sonic told me, gesturing with his hand and moving out of the way.

I glared at him as stepped up to the middle of the stall. "May the best ball tosser win." Sonic whispered. I squeezed the ball in my hand, and stared at the bottle pyramid, before reeling my hand back and throwing the ball. It zoomed straight passed the bottles and hit the back wall.

"What?!" I exclaimed. "How could I miss?" I murmured in disbelief.

"Bad luck." Sonic told me. I knew he was mocking me.

I gritted my teeth "I'd like to see you do better."

Sonic walked up to the stall "Step aside and watch a master at work."

I rolled my eyes and moved out of the way. Sonic threw the ball up in the air and caught it. He then examined the position of the bottles. He swung his arm around in a circular motion three times before releasing the ball and throwing it. The ball collided with the centre of the pyramid and knocked down all of the bottles.

My jaw dropped, whilst Sonic threw his fists in the air and cheered for his own victory. He then turned to me and gave me a wide, toothy grin. "Congratulations." Said the stall manager. "Pick a prize." He added, gesturing at the animals above and around him.

Sonic looked at the toys, some of them being normal animals and some being hybrids. There were some odd choices, there were a few that looked cute and others that just looked wrong.

"Hmm..." He pondered. "I'll take the rabbit with the antlers." He stated, and pointed at the strange but rather interesting looking toy.

"That's a jackalope, Sonic." I corrected him.

"A what?" He questioned as the stall manager handed him the toy.

"Nevermind." I responded. I didn't want to explain it. I wasn't even sure why toy companies would make a stuffed jackalope. Then again, toy companies will make anything that will sell.

Sonic examined the stuffed animal as we walked away. "What is this even supposed to be? A rabbit? A deer?" He wondered.

I groaned "Why did you even get that anyway?" I asked him.

"I don't know, I thought it looked cool." He replied with a shrug.

"No, I mean, aren't you a little old for toys?" I asked. "And how did you do that back there?"

"I used to come here every year with Tails. And trust me, if you come here that long, you eventually become a master at that sort of thing. I'd win him a toy at the ball toss and give it to him. I guess I'll be keeping this one, though." He replied. "And no, I'm not too old."

"Well, I guess you're the best ball tosser then." I grumbled.

"Told you I was better than you. You may be the Ultimate Lifeform, but I'm the Ultimate Ball Tosser!" He declared with glee.

"That was terrible."

He smiled and chuckled "I know. But you had fun didn't you? Admit it, you know you had fun. Come on, give us a smile." He lightly punched my arm.

He was right. I did have fun. There's nothing like a bit of competition. And being there with Sonic, it made me feel... Happy. My mouth turned up slightly at the corner and I smiled at him.

"There's my special guy." Sonic said happily. "Let's go grab some candy floss."

So we did. Sonic got blue candy floss because he wanted it to match his fur, while I got pink as I didn't really care what I had. It was pretty good, nothing spectacular but what can you expect from something made entirely out of sugar. I could tell Sonic liked it judging by how much his pupils dilated.

After we ate, Sonic managed to convince me to go on the roller coaster with him. I don't really want to talk about what happened on that ride... Let's just say Sonic's candy floss almost made a reappearance.

We took one last ride on the ferris wheel before Sonic used up the last of the tokens on some rigged carnival games. I had warned him about them but he refused to listen and ended up winning nothing. At least he still had that dumb looking 'debbit' as he liked to call it.

It was around midnight when we started to head back to my apartment. "That was great." Sonic murmured.

"I suppose so." I agreed.

Sonic looked down at his stuffed toy. "Hey, Shadow, would you like to keep this?" He asked.

"Why would I want it?" I responded.

"Something to remind you of what a fun time you had and to keep you company. Plus, if anyone asks, you can tell them that you beat me at ball toss."

I smiled "Alright, I'll hang on to it."

Sonic handed me the jackalope. I stared down at it. It looked so stupid, with it's comically large eyes and huge ears and antlers. But at the same time it was kind of cute... In a way. "I guess it does look 'cool'." I commented aloud.

"I knew you'd understand." Sonic replied.

We arrived outside of my apartment building, and walked up to the entrance door. We stopped on the steps leading up and turned to face each other. "Thanks for agreeing to come with me, Shadow." Sonic said gratefully.

"No problem. Thanks for letting me come along." I replied. "You've been a lot of help to me lately, I appreciate that."

"Hey, it's no trouble. What are friends for?"

The two of us fell quiet for a moment. "Are you okay, Shadow?" Sonic asked concernedly.

"Why do you ask?" I responded.

"I don't know, ever since you got back you've seemed... Distant and... Less like yourself. Is something wrong?"

I sighed "Well, to tell you the truth I've been having trouble getting settled back in." I told him.

"How come?" He questioned.

"While I was away I got so used to doing nothing but working and not allowing any time for myself. Now that I'm back I'm still stuck in that mindset. It's like... I've lost a part of me that knew how to enjoy myself, as weird as that sounds." I explained. It was true, though. Despite the fact that I no longer felt alienated around my friends, I didn't feel like I could approach them or get involved with what they were doing.

"Hey, that's not true. You showed me tonight that you know how to have fun. You just need to bring it out, that's all." Sonic responded. "You're not away anymore working on countless missions and you have your friends here to support you. I know I've been caught up with Amy, but I'll always make time for you, but you have to make time for yourself as well. You have to find a balance between work and your own life. GUN isn't the only thing you've got going for yourself, and you shouldn't allow it to overrun your life. You're Shadow the Hedgehog, you shouldn't allow anything to control you. You understand?"

"I do. Thank you, Sonic." Sonic's words made me realise that I couldn't allow myself to go back to my old ways. I wasn't alone anymore, and I couldn't push people away. If I was going to make time for myself, I'd need to let others in.

"Anytime." He responded. He then glanced down at the invisible watch on his wrist "Well, I better get going, Amy's probably wondering where I've gotten off to." He stated. As he turned to walk away, he looked back at me "You take care of that jackalope thing for me."

I nodded "I will."

"And before I go, could you give me one more smile, just for old times sake?" He requested.

He didn't even have to ask. I smiled at him. It was truly genuine that time.

"There's the Shadow I know and love." He said, making finger points at me. "Catch you later, Shadow." Sonic walked down the steps and along the pavement. He turned to look at me and waved goodbye. I waved back at him and then glanced down at the toy in my hands. It wasn't so bad. I could get used to it, but I had no idea where I was going to put it.

As I was looking at it, I noticed something on the ground. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that it was a piece of scrunched up paper. I picked it up and examined it, only to realise that it had Sonic's handwriting on. I decided against reading it as it might have been private and went to catch him up. "Sonic, you dropped this." I called after him.

Sonic turned around and his eyes widened when he saw what I was holding. He tried but ultimately failed to keep his cool as he accepted the piece of paper. "Oh- uh thanks Shadow." He stuttered nervously. "What would I do without you?" He put the ball of paper behind his back and began to back away "I uh- see you." He said, turning away and running off.

My gaze lingered on him until he was out of sight. I was a little confused about his sudden change in attitude, perhaps there was something on that piece of paper he didn't want me to see. It made curious about what might have been on it, but I forced myself to get over it as it was none of my business. At least I thought it wasn't.

As I headed back to my apartment, I couldn't help but think that something wasn't right, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. The way Sonic acted around me... It was the same as he had before I had left. Maybe there was more going on than he was saying.

Maybe I was more than just his 'special guy'.


	5. We Need To Talk

**A/N: The moment that the previous 4 chapters have been building up to has arrived...**

* * *

 **Shadow's POV**

I didn't see Sonic for a while after our night at the theme park. But it didn't matter to me, after all, he had his own life and it certainly didn't revolve around me.

Even though he wasn't there, I still kept his advice in mind and made sure to make time for myself, or 'me time' as he would say. Although his definition of 'me time' was a lot different to mine. While he would probably go out running and on adventures, I'd rather just relax. Whenever I wasn't doing work for GUN or on mission, I would 'hang out' with Rouge and Omega. They weren't just friends from work, they were my team, and two of my closest friends. There's no one else I'd rather be with.

When I wasn't 'hanging out' with Rouge and Omega, I would spend time at my apartment doing whatever I wanted. While I was off work and left alone with my thoughts, I began to think about me and Sonic. About us. If there even was an us. It was so obvious to me that he was hiding something. I then started to wonder if he was avoiding me because of that exact reason.

I knew it couldn't carry on like that. I couldn't go on pretending that nothing was going on when there clearly was. I couldn't live a lie, and I didn't think Sonic could either. Eventually, one of us was going to crack, and I wouldn't allow it to be me.

After some more thought, I decided that I was going to confront Sonic. And no matter what it took, I would get to the bottom of it.

But Sonic got in there first.

He turned up on my doorstep unannounced once again. Only he was acting completely different compared to the last time he had came. He was much more quiet and reserved, not bouncing off the walls and grinning from ear to ear. I knew something was wrong almost immediately.

Before I could even get a word in, he spoke up "Hey Shadow, sorry for turning up like this... Again." He apologised. "I just needed to talk to you." He was so soft spoken.

"No need to apologise." I responded. I knew by the way he was acting that whatever he had to say was serious. And I chose to take it seriously.

"Can I come in?" He asked, gesturing with his hand at the inside of my apartment.

"Of course." I replied, moving out of the way and allowing him inside. "Take a seat anywhere you like." I told him as I closed the front door.

Sonic plonked himself down in the nearest armchair. As soon as his rear met the seat, he began to fidget in place. One minute he had his elbow on the arm rest with his head in his palm and he legs crossed and the next his arms were down and he had both feet in the floor. It was like he didn't want the leather to stick to him. He looked uncomfortable, which was odd since he always sat in that chair when he came round and never had any problem before. He was nervous and was most likely trying to cover it up by attempting to act casual but failing miserably.

I watched the spectacle for a moment, trying to figure out what was going on with him, before I came to my senses and decided to offer him something before we got into any details "Would you like something to drink?" I asked.

Sonic managed to sit still for a few seconds to answer, although his left leg was bouncing up and down "What have you got?"

I began to go through the mental list in my head out loud "I've got juice, soda, tea, coffee..."

"Um, coffee please." He requested.

"Alright. I'll put the coffee machine on." I declared and made my way over to the kitchen, which was adjoined to the living room. Sonic didn't say a word.

I turned on the machine, and grabbed two mugs out of the cupboards while the coffee was brewing. I placed Sonic's designated mug underneath the dispenser and leaned back against the kitchen unit as I waited. I folded my arms and looked up at the fridge to see the stuffed jackalope toy resting on top of it. I stared at it's large, oval, shiny black eyes and smiled to myself. I was sure that Sonic would be happy to see that I had kept it and put it on display.

I glanced at the coffee machine. It was still preparing Sonic's drink. Since it was going to take a while longer than expected to get both Sonic's and my drink, I decided to strike up a quick conversation to help pass the time before we got into the real reason as to why he had come round.

"So... How have you been?" I asked him. "What you been up to? I haven't seen much of you lately." I didn't have to raise my voice, he was literally in the other room. I could even see him if I moved over slightly.

"I've been alright. Amy's been keeping me busy." He replied.

"How so?" I asked. The coffee machine let out a satisfying 'ding' and the dark, steaming hot liquid was poured into the mug. I leaned over and picked up the mug and replaced it with my own.

"We're redecorating the house. It's a massive job as we're not just having the walls painted but we're getting in new furniture and stuff. We've been putting it off for a while and Amy decided that it was time we actually got round to it. It wasn't really my idea but Amy wants to sort of make her mark on the place, make it look more like our house than just mine." He explained.

I poured some milk into Sonic's coffee and watched as it swirled around in a white spiral. I then added half a tea spoon of sugar and stirred it in with said spoon. I knew how he liked his coffee. It was fairly easy to remember, even though I didn't exactly know why I remembered it. "If I recall correctly, you haven't done much to that place ever since you moved in."

"You're right. I haven't made much of a mark on the place either. It looks pretty much the same as it did when I first got it. I just didn't have time to do all that stuff as I was never really home. That house has always been just I place to put stuff from my adventures and nothing more."

I stopped stirring Sonic's coffee and put it to one side and waited for the coffee machine to do it's thing. "I can relate. I haven't changed a single thing since I moved into this apartment. Not that I'd be allowed to. It's not really much of a home but rather a place to sleep and come back to every so often." I responded. "But what has Amy got you doing that keeps you so busy?" I questioned.

"She's got me doing some wall painting and wall paper pasting." He replied.

I chuckled in response, though it was doubtful that he heard me. "You, a decorator? Don't make me laugh."

"Amy just wants me to get involved. Most of the stuff we're doing is her choice, and I've not had much of a say. But since what I've done isn't up to her standard, she's decided to call in a professional decorator. That means he'll have to redo everything I've already done, and chaos knows how many rings that'll cost." He let out a heavy sigh.

The coffee machine 'dinged' again and dumped out more dark, hot liquid into my mug. I picked it up and began to add to it.

"The problem with Amy is that she doesn't quite get it. She wants the place to feel like home and for us to settle down-"

"You don't strike me as the type of guy who'd want to settle down." I interrupted him. I finished preparing my own coffee and picked up Sonic's mug and carried it into the living room.

"Exactly! I'm the fastest thing alive, I save the world on a monthly basis, how can she expect me to settle down just like that?" He snapped his fingers. He sounded and looked mildly frustrated. They must have hit a bump in the road that was their relationship.

I handed him his coffee and he nodded in gratitude whilst he continued to vent. I sat down on the couch to the side of him and continued to listen. "I get that she wants us to get serious and all, but settling down is just not who I am. And I'm worried that I won't be able to live up to what she wants me to be. I want to make her happy but... I just don't know if I can." He admitted. He stared down at his coffee and tapped his finger on the side of the mug. He then blew on his coffee and took a quick drink.

I proceeded to blow on my own coffee and had a small sip "Why don't you try meeting her half way?" I suggested.

Sonic looked up at me and raised an eyebrow.

"You should talk to her. You need to tell her that you aren't ready for that kind of commitment but you are willing to try, as long as she can accept that you need the occasional escape, like an adventure or just running around the world a few times. I'm sure she'll understand and you'll be able to sort something out, but you have to talk to her if you want to get anywhere."

"Since when did you become an expert on relationships?" He sounded generally curious, rather than taking a personal jab at me.

"I didn't. It's just what I would do." I replied.

Sonic looked down at his mug again. "I guess it's worth a try. Thanks Shadow... You always know what to say."

"You're welcome."

We both continued to drink our coffee. Sonic slurped it up loudly while I took slow, quiet sips. Once I was satisfied with the amount I had drunk, I put my mug down on the table and stared directly at Sonic. "So what did you really want to talk about?" I asked.

Sonic put his mug on the floor next to his chair. "Huh?" He responded obliviously. He knew exactly what I was talking about but didn't let it on. I saw through his facade easily.

I narrowed my eyes "Don't play dumb with me. You and I both know that you didn't come over here just to talk about a little bump in your relationship. If you did, I wouldn't have to prompt you." I growled in a rough tone.

Sonic was silent and avoided my gaze.

Perhaps I was too harsh. If I was going to get through to him I needed to try something else. I took a more gentle approach. "Sonic, this has gone on for far too long. You wanted to say something before I went away, and then you wanted to say something earlier but now you don't. You can't keep it bottled up forever. You need to talk to me." I told him in softer tone. "Please."

"I- I can't." He stuttered, still avoiding eye contact.

"Why not?"

"I don't know what you'll think of me." He replied.

"Does what I think really matter?" I questioned.

"It does to me."

"But what you want to say and how you feel matters more. Don't worry about what I will think, just do what's best for you." I responded.

Sonic looked directly at me, his eyes full of worry and fear of the unknown. He shook his head "You won't understand."

"Do you really know that? Sonic, whatever you have to say, I'll understand and I won't think wrongly of you, I can promise you that. You don't have to fear anything, I'm your friend and you can tell me anything." I couldn't tell him this before I left, so I chose to tell him then.

Sonic let out a shaky sigh and got out of his chair. "I can't do this, I'm sorry." He turned away from me and walked towards the front door.

I quickly got up off the couch and grabbed Sonic's arm. I hadn't made physical contact with him like that before, but I didn't think anything of it at the time. I wasn't going to let him go. I couldn't. He turned his head to look back at me, our faces were inches apart. "Don't let it go unsaid." I told him "You can't keep running away from this, Sonic. I need to know. I need to know if I'm seeing something that's not there or if you do have feelings for me. But whatever it is, I don't care! I just care about you."

Sonic looked shocked. He must not have realised that I had my suspicions about him and how he felt. But he also looked touched by what I had said. He turned his back on the door and fully faced me. I still had a firm grip on his arm.

"You don't know how much you mean to me, Shadow." He told me. His voice was barely above a whisper. "You were everything to me before you left..." He paused for a moment. "You still are."

"And I-" he hesitated.

In my head I was mentally willing him to go on. I hoped he could see a hint of that in my eyes.

"I love you." He confessed.

And then it happened. Sonic leaned forwards and kissed me on the lips. I was awe struck. I didn't know what to do. I just stood there, frozen in place, staring wide eyed at Sonic's face and his closed eyelids.

I tried to assess the situation. My ex-rival and friend at the time, who I needlessly need to remind you had a girlfriend, was kissing me in my own apartment. I should have seen it coming. I sort of did. So I stopped processing what was happening and just went with it. I closed my eyes and pushed against Sonic, leaning deeper into the kiss.

After what felt like an eternity, Sonic pulled away and took a step back. I too took a step back and almost fell onto the couch.

We looked at each other whilst panting heavily, as neither of us had come up for air. Sonic smiled at me, his cheeks flushed pure red and his eyes full to the brim with happiness. I smiled back. Nothing needed to be said. I lifted my hand and reached out to touch his cheek. He blinked slowly and rubbed his cheek on my palm. I ran my hand down his face and left it below his chin. And without taking a second to think, I moved towards him and kissed him back. I wrapped my arms around Sonic's waist, while he wrapped his around my head and began to run his fingers through my quills as we held our embrace and that moment of intimacy.

I had never kissed anyone before, and yet it all seemed to come so naturally, like I had done it so many times. That kiss felt like it could last forever. I wish it could have. In those few minutes of love and passion, nothing seemed to matter anymore. All I wanted was him. It was like I had always wanted him.

I think I loved him too.

And yet, I couldn't help but think about what was going to happen next. Where would we go from there? Would Sonic try to carry on as normal and deny that it ever happened? Would he go back to Amy and never see me again? Or would he want to get into a relationship with me? Would he dump Amy for me? Or would we go on to see each other behind her back? I didn't know.

But I knew one thing. I knew that whatever we did or where we went, nothing was ever going to be the same again.


	6. Not So Innocent Affair

**A/N - I just want to say that if you haven't checked Myly14 (the person who made the art) yet, then you really should. Their work is fantastic. I'm so glad they let me use that image.**

 **Also, I'm going to try and see if I can update once every weekend. I'd like to say I'd be able to do that, but chapters vary in length and there's a lot to take into account, so I'm going to play it safe and say I'll update once in every two weeks. The weekend thing might happen. We'll just have to see.**

 **There's a lot more narrative in this chapter than dialogue. Chapter 5 was more about interactions and sacrificed narration for dialogue. This one has the opposite. But I'd say it's required. I only put dialogue where it's necessary, I don't want to force it in any where. After all, this just the characters recalling on these events. They're not going to remember every conversation they had or talk about something irrelevant.**

 **If you're wondering where Amy's POV chapters have gone, since the last one she had was in chapter 2 and that was split into two POV's, the plot simply hasn't called for her yet. But she'll be back in full force in chapter 8. You might start seeing an absence of Shadw POV's at that point... But I won't go into detail about that.**

 **My friend who reads these before I post them said this chapter took her on a roller coaster of emotion. I guess we'll see how it goes.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

 **Sonic's POV**

I kissed him.

I actually kissed him.

I looked him in the eye and I told him that I loved him. And he loved me too. He didn't even have to say it. I just knew. I knew by the way he looked at me. I knew as soon as he kissed me back.

It felt so good to finally tell him, to get it off my chest. I had been keeping it a secret for two years, maybe even more, as I had fallen for him long before he went away. Once I confessed, all of my fears and doubts just melted away and I was flooded with relief. It was like an invisible weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had nothing to hide, nothing to hold back. Not anymore. Not around him.

Although, I did feel pretty stupid too. If I had known Shadow would have reacted like that, I would have told him a lot sooner. I couldn't believe that I had wrote my feelings down on a piece of paper to give to him when all I needed to do was just talk to him. I shouldn't have feared the worst, I should have known better. Shadow wouldn't have done anything that I had imagined. But what was done was done.

We got really lost in the moment during our kiss. But I can tell you with complete honesty that nothing happened afterwards. At least not that day.

We continued to see each other. Our relationship seemed so innocent at first. We were like a couple of lovesick teenagers in high school, holding hands and sharing awkward kisses. No kiss was ever the same, we were always moving around and trying different angles to see how we best fit together.

We played it fairly safe. We'd go out to get a bite to eat together like we used to when I was filling him in on what he missed while he was away. When we weren't out together, we'd spend some time at his apartment, having chats and kissing on the couch. We didn't feel the need to test the boundaries of our relationship - to see how far we could go without getting caught. Not in the first few weeks.

I had confessed in early October. It was mid November when I started to crave more.

A month into our relationship, we still had no plan. We had no idea where we were going with it or if we were ever going to take it a step further. We just wanted it to last forever. I wish it had. The early stages of our relationship was one of the best times of my life.

Shadow and I were walking in the local park one frosty morning. We were wrapped up warm in scarves to help fight off the bitter cold. The grass was crunching under foot as we walked hand in hand and eventually took a seat on a bench. It was the same one that I had asked Amy to move in with me a year earlier. I didn't realise the significance at the time, I was too absorbed in the conversation with Shadow for it to click in my head.

The conversation with Shadow was rather trivial, I don't really remember it. It was nothing special, just casual chit-chat. We both fell silent for a few minutes, while Shadow tossed breadcrumbs at some pigeons gathered in front of us.

I stared off into the distance at the frozen lake and at the ducks waddling on top of it and pecking at the thin ice. Lost in thought, I began to think about us. About what more I could possibly want. I had thought about it for some time before then. I wanted a change of scenery, but also a sense of danger and adventure. All of a sudden, all of my desires just started to roll of my tongue. "We should go away together." I blurted out.

Shadow turned his head to look at me, intrigued by what I had to say. "We should take a vacation. Just for one day. Go somewhere new. Somewhere where no one knows us, where no one will judge us. Somewhere with no worries and no limits. Somewhere where we can be who we are... Without hurting anybody."

Shadow turned away and scattered more breadcrumbs for the pigeons. The birds gobbled up the tiny pieces of bread hungrily. I watched him silently as a small smile emerged on his face. "Let's do it."

And just like that, it was settled. We browsed the web for good places to visit until we eventually decided that we would go to Empire City and booked a room in a fancy hotel. The only thing that was left was to lie to Amy.

I told her that Shadow needed a break from work and to have some time away from his apartment. I said that if he had to spend one more day doing his regular routine then he'd have a mental breakdown. When she asked what we'd be doing, I then told her that we'd have a guy's night out drinking and sleep at a cheap bed 'n' breakfast.

She completely understood and even sympathised with Shadow. She gave me the go ahead, told me that I should go, and that we both deserved a break. It was so easy to get her to believe me. Not that she had a reason not to. In her eyes, I was her loving and trustworthy boyfriend that could do no wrong. Her image of me was far from the truth.

It made me feel guilty. I wish I didn't have to lie to her. I had lied to her before. It never got any easier.

A few days later, we were off. On that cold morning, Amy came up to me wrapped up in her dressing gown and wearing her pink slippers, and gave me a kiss goodbye. I lingered in the doorway and I told her I'd be back some time the next day. Once she waved me off, I met up with Shadow at his apartment, and the two of us headed to the train station.

We could have easily ran to Empire City, but we felt like taking a more relaxing trip. The train may not have been able to get us there as fast as we could by ourselves, but we decided to just enjoy the ride. It was the beginning of our day completely alone together.

We arrived in Empire City an hour later. We had spent the majority of the trip staring out of the window and watching the scenery vastly change as we moved along the tracks. From city to frost covered countryside, to towns and more countryside, we saw it all pass us by too quickly for us to truly appreciate it's beauty.

Empire City was nothing like the places we went by. The view of it was awe striking. The large skyscrapers that stretched up towards the clouds and the modern architecture that stood out from miles away.

The train pulled into the station and we got off. As soon as we set foot in the capital, we were overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people that were hustling and bustling around us. I was excited, I couldn't believe I was actually there. The last time I had been to Empire City was when I had been turning into a werehog. I wouldn't say that had been a fantastic experience, but it had been an adventure nonetheless. It had had it's ups and downs, but I had enjoyed it. I had met Chip at that point in time after all.

Nevertheless, it was good to be back there looking like my normal self and not having anyone fearing me. I glanced at Shadow. He looked shell shocked. I don't think he'd ever been around that many people before. It's always frightening going to a new place. I couldn't imagine what it was like for him.

I reached for his hand and took hold of it with mine. I squeezed it gently, just to let him know that I was there and that he had nothing to fear. Shadow was drawn out his trance and glanced down at our hands and then looked up at me. I gave him a smile and a reassuring nod. He wasn't alone. I was there.

Shadow smiled back at me and our fingers intertwined. With high spirits, the two of us exited the station hand in hand. We decided against going to the hotel straight away, as we had no need for it, since we weren't due to book in till later that day and hadn't brought anything with us. When you were having a night out, you had no need for a toothbrush and stuff like that. At least, that's what I believed. I could survive one day without brushing my teeth.

We instead, went and saw the sights. We admired the tall buildings and the architecture and took some great photos with them. After that, we went shopping. The retail shops there were full to the brim with fancy clothes that were overly priced. If Amy were there, she would have said that they were worth every penny and then would have come out with bags full of dresses which would have totalled up to a ridiculous amount.

Luckily, we didn't go shopping for clothes. We were shopping for souvenirs. I wanted to get something for Amy, while Shadow wanted to get something to spice up his dull apartment. I'm not sure why I was thinking of Amy on the one day where it was supposed to be just the two of us. I just couldn't push her to the back of my mind. She was such a big part of my life, that it was hard for me to forget about her, even if it was just for one day.

The shop we were in sold Empire City merchandise. You know, the usual stuff like t-shirts and tiny flags. We browsed for quite a while, until I eventually settled on getting Amy a snow globe with a miniature of Empire City inside of it. I thought it was a good idea, since Christmas was only a month away and the snow globe fitted in with the wintery theme. I was sure she would love it.

Shadow got himself a framed picture of Empire City and told me that he'd put it up in his windowsill. He also got a fridge magnet as he had none at home and needed to pin some important notes up in case he ever forgot.

Before we were about to pay, I decided to treat myself to something as well. A particular t-shirt really caught my eye. It was dark blue and had 'I', that was in big, bold white letters - then a heart with the Empire City flag inside it - followed by 'Empire City' in the same font as the first letter. 'I heart Empire City'. I didn't even take a second to think, I just immediately bought it along with snow globe. I put it on straight away as soon as we got out of the shop.

Shadow gave me a disgusted look and told me that the t-shirt looked terrible and that I had a horrible taste in clothing. I knew he was only jealous of my awesome t-shirt. And even if he was serious, his taste in clothing wasn't much better. All he ever wore was a brown, leather jacket with fur around the collar, that he thought made him look cool when it really didn't. Then again, he did wear rocket boots, so I guess he did have some amount of style.

After spending much longer than we should have in the shop, we went to grab a bite to eat. We hadn't had much to eat on the journey there, except for a couple of snacks, so we were both pretty hungry. Shadow told me that I should have something different. In other words, he wanted me to eat something that wasn't chilli dogs. I was shock that he would suggest such a thing. It took some convincing, but I eventually admitted defeat and we bought some hot pretzels from a vendor.

They were delicious. They weren't as good as chilli dogs, obviously, but they were definitely up there on my favourite foods list. Those hot pretzels were to die for.

As mentioned before, it was winter at the time, so unfortunately the days were short and the nights were long. After exploring the city a little more, the sun was beginning to set, so we went and did what we told Amy we were going to do. We had a guy's night out drinking at the nearest bar we could find.

We didn't have too much to drink. We had just about enough to make ourselves a little tipsy. I knew Shadow was slightly drunk by how giggly he was getting. I liked seeing that side of him as I never saw it very often. Meanwhile, when I'm drunk, I normally get really hyperactive. Well, more hyperactive than usual. But there was something we both did. We'd spout utter nonsense.

We came to our senses and left the bar before we could drink ourselves silly. It was starting to get dark outside, but the bright city lights coming from every building and every direction gave somewhat of an illusion that it was still day time.

We booked into our hotel and received our room key that was in the form of a keycard. The two of us headed up to our room to allow ourselves to sober up a little bit before we went for dinner in the hotel's restaurant.

While we were sobering up, I decided to explore our room. The walls were painted light blue and the carpets were fluffy and cream coloured. We had a double bed which had white sheets that had been neatly arranged by the hotel staff. The pillows had been plumped and propped up at the head of the bed. It looked really comfortable and I couldn't wait to sleep in it.

There was an on suite bathroom with a bath that also worked as a shower. On the far side of the main room were two glass double doors that led to a small balcony that supplied a great view of the city. Overall, the room was perfect. I knew that if I ever wanted to go back to Empire City, I'd go to that hotel.

Once we were somewhat sober, we headed down for dinner. Shadow begged me to take off my t-shirt but I refused. I wasn't going to take it off for anything. Well, almost anything.

The hotel restaurant had large, full length windows and yellow coloured walls. It was brightly lit, with a large, shimmering chandelier hanging from above. Shadow and I were seated at a two person table and ordered a bottle of wine to share. While the waiter went to get it, we both promised that we'd only have two glasses.

We ordered our food and helped ourselves to the bottle of red wine the waiter had brought back while we waited. For starters, we shared a platter of horderves. They were nice, but the portions were rather small. Or maybe the plate was just large. Maybe that's just how fancy food is served.

The main course was a much better size. I had steak, while Shadow had prawns. We offered each other a small piece of our dish. I insisted that Shadow feed me a sample and he just went along with it. He knew there was no winning with me.

Shadow didn't have a dessert. Me, however, who was already full, had hot fudge smothered in chocolate and vanilla ice cream. It was divine. I couldn't stop eating until it was all gone and I was fit to burst.

We sat at the table for a while to allow our dinner to settle. We threw our promise about the wine out window and drank until the bottle was bone dry. That's when the evening took a sudden turn.

I wasn't sure it was the alcohol talking or not, but Shadow said something to me that I never thought would come from his mouth. He cleared his throat to catch my attention as I drunk my the last of my wine. I looked over at him as he gripped the table cloth and avoided making eye contact. "Y'know Sonic, that t-shirt doesn't show off your chest at all..." He commented.

I raised an eyebrow at him. I had no idea what he was getting at.

"I like seeing your chest. I've always wanted to kiss it... And maybe do a little more." He gave me a very seductive look that made my whole body tingle.

I was stunned. Shadow had never done anything with anyone before as far as I was aware. He knew about sex and he knew how it worked of course, but I thought he'd be clueless on the subject of initiating it. I couldn't help but wonder if he had looked into it a bit more just to please me.

I didn't let on about how shocked I was. I leaned forward on the table, getting as close as I could to him "Maybe I'll let you." I whispered softly.

Shadow smirked in response.

I knew it wasn't the alcohol.

We left the table and headed for the elevator. I remember the build up to it so vividly. We entered and stood in silence as we moved up each floor. My heart was beating heavily in my chest. I thought if it were to beat any faster then it would leap into my throat. I felt the adrenaline coursing through my veins. Saying that I was excited would be an understatement. I had waited so long for that moment. I had never known how much I truly wanted it until then. I wanted it more than anything.

My mind tuned into the elevator music that was going on in the background. It wasn't as calming as you'd think.

I glanced at Shadow. He was stiff and unmoving, his face void of any emotion. Was he excited? Nervous? I couldn't tell at all.

There was a loud 'ding'. We had reached our floor. The silver doors slid open and we exited. We picked up our pace as we walked down the hall to our room. It was quiet. Most of the other guests were probably in bed.

We reached our room. Shadow slotted the room keycard in and there was a satisfying click as the door unlocked. Shadow pushed the door open and we stepped inside. Suddenly, I was swept off my feet as Shadow scooped me up in his arms. I began to laugh hysterically "Shadow, put me down." I ordered. I tried to sound serious but ultimately failed.

"Oh, I will." He replied, fully entering the room and pushing the door closed behind him with his foot. He carried me over to the bed and laid me down on it. He then stripped off his jacket and flung it to the ground.

I grinned at him, and quickly removed my shoes, but left on my white socks. Shadow kicked off his rocket boots and climbed onto the bed and began to crawl towards me. I held my breath.

We both knelt on the bed, our faces and mouths inches apart, with our chests' pressed up against each other. "I've been wanting to take this off all day." He whispered, grabbing my t-shirt and practically tearing it off of me.

I flopped onto my back as Shadow crawled up to me again until he was on top of me, pinning me there. Dominating me. He lowered his head down and kissed me on my stomach. I let out a hot gasp.

Shadow lifted his head momentarily and smiled, before he went down on me again and kissed my lower body. He started kissing me feverly, making his way up to my chest. I could feel something building up inside of me, but I wasn't sure what. It started from my groin and was working it's way up my body, just like how Shadow was.

He planted a kiss on my shoulder. I felt his white, soft, chest fur brush against my chin. Whatever was building up inside of me finally emerged, and I emitted a sound that was in between a purr and a moan. I could feel the hotness on my cheeks as I blushed, but Shadow was not distracted by how animalistic I sounded and continued to kiss me.

He was no longer holding himself above me, instead he was on top of me, I could feel his full body weight on my stomach, while his lips were pressed against my cheek.

Amy and I had made love in the amount of time we'd been together. But what me and Shadow had was different. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I loved it. I loved him. I didn't want it to stop.

My phone started ringing.

I glanced over to the bedside table where my phone was placed. I could see a picture of Amy on the screen. She was calling me.

I closed my eyes and tried to block it out. I couldn't think about her. I couldn't. I wanted to enjoy it and I couldn't if she was on my mind. But the ringtone was blaring in my ears and in my head. I couldn't ignore it. Why hadn't I switched it off?

Shadow was too caught in the moment to notice.

The phone stopped.

I was about to let out a sigh of relief, until I was cut short when my phone started ringing again only a few seconds later. I suddenly felt uncomfortable. I had felt comfortable before, what had changed? I wanted to enjoy it. Why wasn't I enjoying it? I was supposed to like it. Why didn't I like it?

I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Stop, Shadow, stop." I told him, pushing against him with my hands with more force than I had intended on using. Shadow almost immediately backed off and knelt on the bed as I reached over and grabbed my phone.

With shaking hands, I answered the call. "Hey Amy." I greeted. I glanced over at Shadow. He wasn't looking at me, instead his eyes were focused on one spot on the bed. His chest was heaving.

"Hi Sonic!" She responded. She sounded really chirpy for someone awake in the middle of the night. "Sorry for calling so late, I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, you didn't." I replied. I must have sounded really deadpan.

"You're not drunk, are you?" She then asked.

"No. Well, only a little bit." I told her. I felt the bed shift a little. Shadow had moved.

She giggled audibly in response. "Well, I just called to check on you, make sure everything is okay over there. Are you two having fun?"

I looked over at Shadow again. He was at the edge of the bed with his back to me and was putting on his rocket boots. "Yeah, we're having a pretty good time." I lied.

"I'm glad to hear it." She replied. "I know this sounds silly but... I miss you. I know you're coming back tomorrow but... We haven't been apart for a while now and I just- it's so good to hear your voice and-" she chuckled lightly "-I must sound like a right dork."

"Of course you don't. To be honest-" I paused, and watched as Shadow got up off the bed, picked his jacket off the floor, slipped it on, and walked out onto the balcony. "-I miss you too." I smiled faintly, even though I knew she couldn't see my face.

Amy was silent for a moment. I wondered if she was smiling. That response must have touched her in some shape or form. "Well, I'm going off to bed in a minute, so I won't keep you from chugging more drinks any longer. Goodnight, Sonic. Oh, and say hi to Shadow for me. I didn't get to see him earlier."

I nodded "I will. Goodnight, Amy"

"Love you."

I swallowed hard. "Love you too."

The call ended. I switched my phone off and put it back on the bedside table. She had absolutely no clue. It made me feel so rotten. Why did I let myself get into such a mess?

I got up off the bed and walked over to the balcony in my socks. Putting my shoes back on was the last thing on my mind.

Shadow was at the edge of the balcony with his arms folded and rested on the glass pane that served as a railing. He was staring into distance at the tall buildings that surrounded him, and at the bright orange lights that illuminated every corner of the city. I walked up to him and stood beside him, and then leant on the glass pane.

"If you didn't want to do it you should have just said." He told me.

"I did want to. It's just... It didn't feel right with Amy calling me." I explained. I let out a heavy sigh "I'm sorry. I don't think I'm ready for that kind of stuff right now. I thought I was but... I guess not."

Shadow was quiet for a few seconds. "It's okay. I understand."

"You do?" I questioned.

"You love her, just as much as you love me. You don't want to hurt her. That's a good enough reason for me." He replied. He paused, and looked down at the traffic below. "All I want to know is if you still want to be with me."

Did he really think I'd leave him? Just like that?

"Of course I do." There was no other answer.

"Then I'll be right here. What ever you want to do, whether it be talking or kissing or maybe something more, I'll always be here. You might be ready later or you might never be ready. You just let me know, and I'll understand. You don't have to worry about a thing."

"Thank you, Shadow." I whispered softly. I nearly choked up. I had let him down. I knew I had. If he had tried to change himself, if he had tried to get a better understanding of sex, all just for me, then all that work must have been for nothing. But he insisted that it was fine. It wasn't fine. It never would be fine.

I didn't know what else to say.

The wind whipped up, sending a cold chill down my spine. A tiny, white snowflake slowly drifted down and landed on my nose. I looked up at the clouded sky and watched as more snowflakes came drifting down. The first snow of that year. The first snow that I had seen, anyway.

I leaned my head on Shadow's shoulder and watched as the snow came falling down, becoming thicker and faster with every second, landing on us and melting into out fur. "What do we do now?" Shadow asked, his breath visible in the cold, winter night air.

"Cuddle?" I suggested with a tiny shrug.

He smiled at me and the two of us walked back inside and closed the balcony doors behind us.

After Shadow had stripped himself of his jacket and took off his rocket boots again, and climbed into bed, the two of us curled up in the warm sheets. Shadow had his arm wrapped around me while his other arm was on the pillow along with his head. I was slightly lower down with my head on Shadow's chest and both arms wrapped around his waist.

Whilst cuddled up together, I began to think about Amy and Shadow. Me and Shadow weren't just two lovesick teenagers. We were adults and we knew exactly what we were doing. There was nothing innocent about what was going on between us. There was nothing innocent about an affair. I had a girlfriend and I was going behind her back constantly and lying to her. I was going to end up hurting her. If she ever found out...

I didn't want to hurt Amy, but I felt like I had hurt Shadow in the process that night. I didn't want to hurt either of them. But I wasn't sure if I could avoid the possibility forever. Eventually, one of them was going to get hurt.

I squeezed Shadow tighter and snuggled closer to him. I blinked rapidly, fighting back tears.

The real question was; who was it going to be?


	7. Journey Home

**Oh. Oh I'm back. How long has it been?**

 **...**

 **Over a month?!**

 **Darn. You're probably wondering where I've been. Well, while I was writing this chapter I discovered the anime Attack on Titan and I fell in love. I binged watched all of season 1 and played through the video game. Then school started up again and I had to focus on my work. Then I lost some motivation but I managed to rekindle it recently. So now I'm back!**

 **Hopefully the wait for chapter 8 won't be as long as this one.**

 **As for the story itself, I'm trying to not paint Sonic as the bad guy. What he's doing is wrong but he's not seeking out to hurt anyone. If you were in his situation, where you loved two people so much, could you make the decision that he doesn't dare make?**

 **Just food for thought.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

 **Sonic's POV**

I was restless that same night. So much so that I ended up waking Shadow and then neither of us could get to sleep.

We were awake in the early hours of morning, where it was still very dark outside and the room was pitch black. Shadow switched the bedside lamp on and we both sat cross-legged on the bed and began to talk. He asked me if I was okay. I told him I was fine. To tell you the truth, I wasn't fine at all. I didn't want to be there anymore. It made me feel sick. Being in that room, the room where we almost made love to each other, was a constant reminder that I was betraying Amy. Not a second went by that I didn't think about it. I was a liar and a cheat. There was no better way to say it.

I just wanted to go home.

I wanted to go home and forget about all of it and just start over. I wanted me and Shadow to go back to how we were - innocent and naive and oblivious to the potential harm we were doing. But deep down I knew that there was no going back. I remember thinking these exact words - 'I don't want to feel this way. It feels so bad.'

He asked me if I was sure.

I started crying.

I hadn't cried for a while up until that point. The guilt overcame me and I just broke down. Shadow gave me a sorrowful look and moved closer to me and pulled me into an embrace. He hugged me tightly and hushed me softly, repeating the same words over and over again. 'It's okay. Don't cry. It's okay. I'm here'. He ran his fingers through my head quills in a comforting manner whilst cradling me in his arms.

I buried my face in his shoulder, apologising to him through loud, shaking sobs. Tears streamed down my cheeks and soaked his fur.

Shadow wouldn't strike people as the compassionate type judging by his stoic personality and cold demeanour. But those people don't see the person underneath. He was caring, sweet and kind. I knew that if there was anyone I could talk to, it was him.

He asked me what was wrong. I told him that I was sorry, if I hurt him in any way that day. I told him that I didn't want to hurt anyone, but that I knew I would end up hurting either him or Amy if I carried on.

I was scared.

I didn't want to lose him.

He was quiet for a moment. The only sounds that could be heard were his light breathing, my stifled sobs and the roaring traffic outside. Shadow then gently pulled away from me, moved his hand from behind my head and put it below my chin. With one finger, he pushed my head up so that I was looking at him directly. I stared at him with red, puffy eyes.

And he said "You're not going to lose me. Don't ever think that. I love you. I'm not going anywhere." He paused for a second and wiped away my tears with his other hand. "It'll be okay. We'll sort this out, you'll see. It'll all be okay." He kissed me on the forehead and his lips lingered there.

It must have been weird for him, seeing me cry. He had never seen me cry before. It was a big contrast to my usual happy go-lucky self. It must have really caught him off guard.

I wish he hadn't seen me like that. At my lowest, so sad and vulnerable. It couldn't have been any easier for him, trying to comfort me when he was stuck in the situation along with me, at risk of getting his heart broken at any moment. I wondered how he managed to deal with it. Did he just allow himself to suffer in silence?

He asked me if there was anything he could do that might help.

I told him that I wanted to go home.

He agreed without even a moments thought. He said he'd do anything to make me feel better.

We left our room and booked out of the hotel. It was surprising to find someone at the front desk so early in the morning but we didn't look a gift horse in the mouth. We paid off our bill, handed over our keycard and then exited the building.

It was cold outside. So much so that I felt the effects almost immediately as soon as I set foot out there and was chilled right to the bone. My fur didn't serve as much protection against the winter weather, nor did my scarf and Empire City themed t-shirt.

I could see why Shadow hated my t-shirt so much. It didn't seem to have the same affect or appeal to me as before when I had been cheerful. I guess the things that make you happy can't cheer you up as much when you're miserable.

Something's just end up getting tainted, like that t-shirt.

Like me and Shadow. Our relationship had been poisoned. And the only one to blame was me.

Snow flakes were still drifting down from the sky, but not as fast as before. I shivered and crossed arms, attempting to embrace my own body heat. Shadow glanced at me and observed my behaviour for a few seconds. He then proceeded to remove his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders.

I smiled and nodded in gratitude. But all he had at that point was a scarf and I couldn't let him go without something to wear, so I took off my t-shirt and handed it to him. He refused at first, as he wouldn't want to be seen dead in it, but I insisted that he wore it, so he gave in and accepted the t-shirt. He turned it inside out before he put it on, as he didn't want anyone to see the logo. I think he would've been better off wearing it normally, as he looked dumb even with it turned inside out. But it was his choice and he would look ridiculous either way. At least in his eyes. I thought it suited him.

I slipped my arms into the jacket and stuffed my hands into the pockets. I felt rather snug in Shadow's jacket, while it's owner seemed completely unfazed by the snow and wind. I guess he didn't feel the cold like I did. Maybe it was one of the many benefits he had from being the Ultimate Lifeform.

We didn't speak to each other at all on our trip to the train station. We just walked side by side in silence, with a small bit of distance between us. It may not have been much, but to me it felt like there was a massive gap separating us both, a gap that was constantly widening and pulling us apart. And I couldn't do anything to stop it.

The silence was maddening.

It was pretty awkward too. We exchanged glances every so often, but that was about it. Instead, I opted to look down at the snow covered pavement, and at the patches of melted snow where I could see concrete. Dark grey slabs with cracks and crevices. I wished one would just open up and swallow me whole.

We hardly encountered anyone on our walk, aside from one or two people that didn't even give us a passing glance. There were lots of cars on the road though, with the people in them most likely trying to get to their early morning jobs. I couldn't imagine having to get up at Chaos knows the hour that it was to go to work. But not everyone has such a carefree life like mine.

We eventually arrived at the train station and handed over our return tickets that we had bought in advance. Once we were given the go ahead, we headed off to the platform to wait for our train to arrive. We were just thankful that the trains were still running when it had been snowing all night. Maybe it wasn't as bad of a snow storm as we initially thought.

I noticed that there weren't that many people at the train station either. It was a bit of a strange experience, being awake while the city sleeped. It was such a big difference compared to how it had been when we had first arrived. Shadow seemed to like the calm atmosphere, and was even taking the time to relax and soak it all in. I could tell by the way he stood there, staring blissfully off into the distance. He was in his element.

The loud train horn that blew off as the train rolled into the station startled him a little. I saw him jolt slightly when it went off, and I couldn't help but smile at it. Shadow quickly regained his composure as the train slowed to a halt in front of us. The automatic doors to the train compartments swung open and the small amount of passengers quickly climbed aboard.

Shadow and I followed suite by entering through the nearest door to us. The compartment we ended up in was empty, which we took as a welcoming opportunity to just sit and enjoy each other's company for however long we had left until we arrived home. We didn't know when we'd see each other after that. If we'd see each other.

We could have ended it that night. I felt like it was coming, that the end was drawing near. It was hard to visualise it, and despite that Shadow had promised to be there for me, I couldn't help but think that our time together was up. Our relationship was going to be over before it had even begun. At least, that's what I feared might happen.

Everything was different, what had happened in that hotel had changed us, opened our eyes, made us think, and we came to acknowledge things that we had tried to keep buried. I wasn't sure if either of us could keep it up, the lying, the secrecy, it wasn't right. It wasn't us.

We took a seat close to a large window, although neither of us were really in the mood for looking at the scenery. Shadow sat on the edge of the seat to allow me to lie down. I rested my head on Shadow's lap and rested one leg on the seat while the other was still on the floor.

I looked up at Shadow, and he looked down at me. He gave me a small smile, but didn't say a word. There was a touch of sadness in his eyes. To this day, I still don't know what was on his mind. Maybe he was worried about me after seeing me in such a state, or maybe he was worried that what had happened was going to tare us apart, just like I was.

I gave him a ghost of a smile in return. It was all I could manage. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I should say something, anything, but I didn't know what. So I stayed quiet.

Shadow's gaze moved off of me as he looked out of the window. The train was whirring into action, I could sense the vibrations of the engine as the wheels began to turn and it started to pull out of the station.

I stared up at the ceiling for a short while. I glanced out of the window every so often, watching the snow whirling and swirling in the wind, and seeing Empire City get further and further away until it was a speck in the distance amongst the snowy, white haze. It was still dark out, but the sun was showing signs of rising on the horizon, tinting the edges of the blackened sky with a bright orange glow.

I adjusted my position on the seat, but I still didn't manage to get my other leg up, not that I minded that much. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried my best to relax. In darkness, everything was calm, everything was okay. I stayed like that for what felt like an entirety. Without being able to see, I could allow my other senses to do the work.

I could still feel the humming of the train's engine, every tremor passing through me. I could feel the wheels as they thundered down the tracks, making a constant, repeating, rattling sound. I could hear the wind howling outside, and could feel the chill of the winter weather leaking in from somewhere. I could only assume that Shadow must have opened the window slightly to get a breath of fresh air. The train had a sort of sweaty, musty, humid smell which he probably, although understandably, couldn't stand.

My ears were drawn to Shadow's breathing. Soft, quiet, shallow, barely noticeable. Maybe he was holding back his breathe as to not disturb me, as I assumed he thought I was asleep. I could hear the soothing rhythm of his heart beating in his chest. I could feel his warmth as he embraced me. He had one hand rested on my chest, while the other was rested on my head, as his fingers gently stroked my fur.

I could feel his eyes on me, I could sense his stare piercing my soul. I opened my eyes a little, barely above a slit, to find that he was indeed staring at me. From what I briefly saw before I closed my eyes again, was that his gaze was soft, with the same touch of sadness.

I must have looked rather peaceful to him, when I was completely the opposite. I knew we couldn't sit in silence forever. One of us had to say something eventually. I wasn't sure if Shadow was going to, I think he was too afraid to say anything in case he ended up upsetting me.

It fell to me to speak up.

I exhaled deeply and opened my eyelids in order to meet Shadow's gaze. I tried to give him a look that indicated that I wanted to talk. I think he bought it.

He smiled warmly at me, obviously noticing that I wasn't in the least a bit groggy from just 'waking up'. "I thought you were asleep." He commented, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I was just resting my eyes." I replied, giving him a cheeky grin, which faded quicker than it had arrived.

There was a pause. Shadow observed me during that time, taking in every detail as he tried to asses what was going on in my head. "Are you okay, Sonic?" He asked.

I hesitated for a moment. "Honestly? No, not really." I responded.

"What's on your mind?" He questioned.

"You... And Amy." I told him. "I just... I have this feeling of like... overwhelming guilt... and..." I let out a shaky sigh "I don't know what to do."

Shadow went quiet. He continued to stroke my head as he lifted his own and stared out the window. I watched him closely as he lifted his head a little higher and got as close as he could to the small gap and breathed in the cold air that was blowing in through his nose. He then exhaled, his visible breath escaping outside.

He then looked back down at me. I took in his every movement, I watched as his lips parted as he began to speak. "You know, Sonic, if this is too hard for you then... you could always leave me..." He suggested. I could see that it was hard for him to say that. It _pained_ him.

I was astonished. I couldn't believe it. Shadow was willing to sacrifice our relationship just to make the decision easy on me. But I couldn't let him do that. I couldn't leave him. I wouldn't.

I lifted my hand and touched his cheek. I gently ran my fingers along his face, along his black fur and cheek bones. He leaned into my hand and lightly rubbed his cheek against my palm. And I simply replied "I could never leave you."

"I just need some time to think that's all."

He lifted his hand off my chest and touched mine. "Are you sure that's what you want?" He asked. "What about Amy?"

"I'll figure something out. I just need to get my head on straight first. I'll call you when I've got my thoughts together."

"When is your head ever on straight?" Shadow quipped.

I grinned, taking my hand away from Shadow's face "Never." I responded wittily "But at least I've got you to keep me on the right track. You promised to be there for me after all."

"There's no getting rid of you, is there?" He joked.

"Nope."

Shadow laughed. He then leaned down and kissed me on the lips. It was short, just a quick peck, but it made my heart flutter. As he moved away, I quickly pushed my head up and caught him on the way up, kissing him on the nose.

In that moment, I thought that what Shadow had said to me before was true. Maybe everything was going to be okay, as long as I had him in my life.

Our spirits were a lot higher for the rest of the train ride. After we had talked things out, we both felt so much better. We admired the scenery, and occasionally getting up and walked around the carriage. I made jokes about pieces of gum stuck to the ceiling, while Shadow questioned how it had gotten up there. I then told him a few stories, just anything that popped into my head, just to get a laugh out of him.

Around the end of the train journey, we got rather cheesy. We took turns on telling one another how much we loved each other, until it basically became a competition on who loved the other the most.

We were so absorbed in our conversation that we didn't notice the train pulling into our stop until the last second. We exited the train and took a slow, relaxing walk to my house, hand in hand. It was snowing there too, although it was falling thicker and faster compared to what it had been like in Empire City.

We eventually stopped about a block away underneath a street lamp, the artificial orange light acting as a sort of spotlight. The snow whirled around us and the wind roared in our ears, but we didn't mind that much.

Shadow took hold of both my hands in his, and our fingers intertwined "I guess this is where I leave you now."

"I guess so." I sighed "I'm sorry I ruined our weekend away together." I apologised.

"Don't worry about that, it's fine. Really." He assured me. "Are you absolutely sure this is what you want?" He asked for the second time that night.

"I've never been more sure." I replied.

"Well, just call me once you've had a bit more of a think, okay?"

I couldn't help but wonder how much it would take to convince him that my mind was pretty much already made up. Was my word not enough for him? I decided not to challenge him on it. "I will. I'll make sure to call you as soon as I can."

"I'll see you soon then." He responded.

I let go of one of his hands and grabbed hold of his scarf, pulling on it to bring his face closer to me. "Sooner than you think." I whispered, kissing him passionately on the lips.

I pulled away, letting go of his scarf. Our hands remained together, our fingers interlocked. As we moved apart, we still held hands for as long as we could, until his fingers inevitably slipped through mine.

I turned and began to walk away. "Oh, and Sonic?" I heard him say behind me.

I turned around to face him once again "Don't be a stranger." He said, smiling at me.

I smiled back. He remembered the exact words I had said to him over a year prior. He couldn't have picked a better time to use them if he tried.

He waved goodbye and walked along the pavement. Once he reached the end of the street, he looked back and gave me a lingering glance, before disappearing around the corner.

After I had watched him go, I ran home, shielding my face with my arm from the icy wind and snow that was causing my eyes to sting. It was an easy task, and I made it to my front door in seconds. I unlocked the door and entered, shutting the door as quickly as I could in order to not allow any snow inside. The wind put up a good fight but I managed to get it closed and locked again.

Some snow had made it passed my defences, but it was already melting on the floorboards as I removed my shoes. That's when I realised that I was still wearing Shadow's jacket. We had both equally forgotten that we had traded clothes. I told myself I'd give it back to him the next time I saw him.

I tip-toed through the house and put Shadow's jacket in the cupboard under the stairs. I then grabbed a towel and dried myself off, getting rid of any melted snow on my fur. After I was finished downstairs, I made the climb up the aforementioned stairs, keen on getting into bed.

I reached mine and Amy's room, and gently pushed the door open. Amy was sleeping soundly in bed, dressed in her silky, pink floral print nightdress, with the covers pulled up to her chin. She seemed to be enjoying having the bed all to herself, judging by the fact that she was slap bam in the middle.

I slowly approached her and admired her sleeping form for a few seconds. I then lifted my hand and gently ran the back of it on Amy's cheek. She began to stir and her eyelids fluttered before they opened fully. She looked up at me, but it took her a moment before it fully registered in her still half asleep brain.

"Sonic?" She mumbled incoherently, whilst rubbing the sleep from her tired eyes. "What time is it?" She asked, yawning sleepily.

I glanced over at the digital clock on the side of the bed. "It's half past six in the morning." I read out the green numbers to her.

"What are you doing back so soon? I thought you weren't coming back until much later." She commented, getting up into a sitting position.

"I thought I might come back early and surprise you. I couldn't stay away for too long, I missed you too much."

She smiled drowsily "Aw Sonic, that's so sweet of you." She lifted her hand and put it behind my head. She then pulled me down so that she could kiss me on the lips.

"I got you a little present." I told her, pulling away from her mouth and taking out the brown paper bag that I had been hiding behind my back.

"Oh Sonic, you shouldn't have." She responded, taking the bag off me and pulling the contents from inside. She held up the snow globe in her hand and stared at it completely mesmerised. She shook it up, and watched as the tiny snowflakes swirled and danced around the miniature Empire City inside the glass dome. "It's beautiful. Thank you, Sonic." She said gratefully. "I'll make sure to put it on the windowsill later today." She stated, leaning over and carefully placing the snow globe on the bedside cabinet.

"You're welcome. I knew you'd like it." I responded. "Now, I know you're enjoying having the bed all to yourself, but do you mind maybe sharing some with me?" I asked.

She giggled "I could maybe spare a bit of space." She replied, peeling back the bed sheets and moving over a little so that I could get in. I sat up with my back leaning against the headboard, while Amy moved back over to my side and snuggled up close to me, tucking her head underneath my chin.

"Did you and Shadow have fun?" She asked.

"Yeah, we had a good time." I replied, not wanting to go into too much detail for obvious reasons.

"You two didn't have too much to drink, did you?" She quizzed.

"Well, we might have had a bit too much. I think I might have a hangover. Either way, I still have a pretty bad headache."

Amy chuckled "You're such an idiot sometimes. But I'm glad you two had a good time. Do you think Shadow's feeling better after a break away?"

The lie I had told her came back to me. I didn't have much of a choice but to lie again. "Yeah. I think it's done him a world of good." I replied. "What have you been up to?" I asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Nothing much. Blaze, Rouge and Cream came over yesterday and we had a chat. Then I got a few jobs done around the house. It's amazing how productive I can be when you're not around."

"Oh, so that's how it is, huh? Well, remind me to go away whenever you want to get a job doing." I joked.

"No, I didn't mean it like that." She replied. My sense of humour was lost on Amy sometimes. "I was just able to get some stuff done while you were away, but I wouldn't want you to make it a regular thing."

"I've only been gone for one day, and you've already forgotten what my jokes are like." I commented, chuckling lightly.

"You were joking? Sorry, I'm really tired and my head's all over the place." She explained. She placed her hand on my arm and squeezed it gently. I looked her directly in the eye. "I'm just really glad you're back."

"Me too."

She paused for a minute or two and let go of my arm. She then glanced over at the snow globe "We should go to Empire City someday. Just you and me. Maybe book into a fancy hotel and go see some sort of show at a theatre. Wouldn't that be fun? Although we should probably go some time after the new year, and not when it's snowing. Weather just never seems to be in our favour."

"I'd love to take you to Empire City. How about we go some time in May next year?" I suggested. I just wanted to make her happy.

She smiled. "It's a date."

She then snuggled closer to me "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to get some more shut eye. Wake me up in a few hours."

"I think I'll join you. I'm pretty tired too."

"That trip back must have been exhausting. Are we in agreement on having a lie in today?"

"I couldn't agree more." I responded.

She yawned once again. "Goodnight, Sonic." She whispered, rubbing her head on my chest as she got comfortable.

"Night, Amy." I responded, kissing her on the top of her head.

I lay awake long after Amy had fallen asleep. Her light, almost whistle like snoring was pleasing to the ear. I began to think about her and Shadow again. I wondered if I should tell her. I couldn't keep it a secret forever, and it would be better if she heard it from me rather than finding out herself. But how she would react was unpredictable. And that's what scared me.

Before I even knew what I was getting myself into, I spoke her name "Amy." I addressed her softly. I then nudged her a little just to make sure I had her attention.

"Mmm... Yeah?" She responded drowsily. She was still half asleep, but was awake enough to listen and understand what I was saying.

"There's something I need to tell you." I stated.

"What... what is it?" She asked.

I was tracing lazy circles into her back with my finger as I tried to come up with the right words. "Well, you see... I'm in a relationship with Shadow and I've been seeing him behind your back."

...

Is what I would have said if I had the guts to tell her the truth. What I really told her was just a cop out. But that doesn't mean it wasn't true.

"I love you, you know that, right?"

"Yeah... Of course I do... I... I love you too..." She mumbled, before drifting back into slumber. Her light snoring started once more.

I made a decision that night. I may not have realised it at the time, but by not telling Amy the truth, I chose to carry on with my affair. I chose to continue hurting her without her even knowing it yet. It was selfish of me. Utterly selfish, but I just couldn't help myself. I was going to allow it to runs its course and carry on as long as I could without getting found out. How long that would be was unknown to me, but I'd try to enjoy it for what little time we might have had. That doesn't mean I was using them, I did truly love them with all my heart and I wanted nothing more than for things to stay how they were. I had actually fooled myself into believing that it could go on forever without any consequences.

I loved them both so dearly, I couldn't force myself to choose. Was my heart big enough to fill with two people? I didn't know. But I knew I couldn't give either of them up. Maybe I'd end up losing them both. Maybe that's what I deserved. More often than not I didn't think I deserved either of them. That they deserved better than me.

At that moment, I wasn't sure what the future would hold for me, Shadow and Amy. I wanted there to be some sort of future for all three of us.

Unbeknownst to me, eventually everything was going to crash and burn around me. What I was doing was delaying the inevitable, but also fuelling the flames.


	8. The Truth Hurts

**Hey.**

 **Um... I can't churn out chapters every other day. That only happened with the first couple because they were written in advance. I'm not a machine, and sometimes I take longer to write chapters and sometimes I don't. I'm sorry the last one took so long, but I have a life outside of this. I have work to do, I have stuff I want to enjoy, I want to relax every so often. If I rushed every chapter just to satisfy the readers needs for more, they wouldn't be that good. I only post chapters when I like them and if I think they're worth reading. And if they're not, then I change them.**

 **I'm not addressing anyone in particular about this. I'm just saying... Please understand that I can't update regularly all the time. It's just how it is. And I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's true. I want to write these chapters and I want people to be happy with them, and if not, critique me on it. But I can't if the only feedback I get is 'write quicker' or something like that. It just makes me feel less like writing. Motivation is my main problem.**

 **I truly appreicate all the feedback I get for these. It warms my heart and I'm always checking my emails to see if I got any new reviews.**

 **I'm sorry if I offended you in any way by saying this. I'm sorry for taking so long on the last chapter... And I'm sorry for wasting your time with this opening.**

 **Enjoy the chapter. I worked hard to get it out sooner than the last one.**

* * *

 **Amy's POV**

I couldn't have been anymore clueless about what was going on between Sonic and Shadow if I tried.

But could you really blame me? There wasn't that much to be suspicious about. I did notice the little, more subtle things going on between them. Whenever I saw them together, which wasn't very often, I would see the way they looked at one another. Out of the two of them, Sonic made slightly more obvious romantic gestures towards Shadow, but not by much. He gave him this sort of longing, transfixed gaze whenever he looked in his direction.

They touched each other in my presence. It was nothing major, just a soft touch on the other's arm. Another thing that I noticed was whenever Shadow, or at least I assumed it was Shadow, called him, Sonic would either step out the room or leave the house entirely and go out into the garden. Wherever he went, he was gone for a prolonged time, but I didn't notice his absence a great deal and didn't think to question him on it. Perhaps, I thought, they just had a lot to talk about.

None of these things set off any alarm bells. Why would they? I trusted Sonic, I believed that what we had together was good, and never did it once cross my mind that he would cheat on me. I wasn't his fangirl or annoying crush anymore, I was his girlfriend, and I wasn't going to jump to conclusions and accuse him of cheating on me over such simple things. At least, I wouldn't have done that if he had so much as talked to another girl. I never even considered the idea of him being with a guy.

What they were doing seemed like normal, friendly things. I couldn't tell you how many times I've touched Cream's or Blaze's or Rouge's or any of my other friends' arms in an affectionate manner. That doesn't mean I was in love with any of them, so why should I have thought any different about what Sonic was doing.

I was too trusting for my own good, but it was in my nature. Maybe if Sonic and Shadow's advances on each other had been more full on maybe I would have noticed something and would have started to put the pieces together. But they would have never been that careless or stupid. What I had seen must have been a couple of slip ups that weren't intentional, stuff they had done in the moment and they certainly hadn't planned on me seeing.

Or maybe I was just too blind to see what was happening right in front of me, until my eyes were opened by something that was so obvious and so unmissable that I couldn't deny it. Something that happened right in front of me.

It was mid December, with Christmas drawing near. I was on the high street, looking to find a fancy dress. Sonic and I had been invited to a New Year's Party/Ball at the city hall in Station Square, which we had humbly accepted. The dress code was suits and ball gowns, and since I didn't have any ball gowns, I wanted the get a dress as soon as possible, and I definitely wasn't going to leave it till the last minute.

Sonic had decided to tag along that day. He was there to offer advice and help me pick out a dress, when in actuality he was there just so he could sneak off and buy me a Christmas present when my back was turned. I chose to act like I didn't know what he was up to. Unlike him, I had done my Christmas shopping a month in advance so I didn't get stressed out, while he ran around like a headless chicken a week and a half away from Christmas Day.

I was in a fairly large store that was full to the brim with all types of different clothing, from summer to winter clothing, from casual to smart, from suits and ties to ball gowns. It had everything, so I was hoping it would have the dress I was looking for. I didn't actually know what dress I had in mind, but I knew that the moment I saw the right one I would know.

As I skimmed through the dresses on the clothes rack, I heard Sonic's feet clattering on the tiled floor as he approached me. I knew it was him as we were the only ones in the store and the employees were in the break room. Plus, I would recognise his foot steps anywhere.

"Hey, Amy." He said, trying to catch my attention.

I turned around to see Sonic standing behind me, wearing a couple of dark sunglasses over his eyes. "Check me out!" He exclaimed, pointing at the shades with a massive grin on his face. "What do you think?" He asked.

I chuckled and put my hand to my mouth to try and hide my laughter "I think you look pretty ridiculous." I responded honestly. He was clearly bored and trying to entertain himself when he really should have been helping me like he said he would. It was kind of irritating, but I had come to expect that sort of thing from him.

"Ridiculous?!" He cried. He sounded shocked and somewhat offended. I knew he was exaggerating in order to get a laugh out of me, but I wasn't really in the mood. I just wanted to find a dress and go home. "I think these make me look great!" That part was definitely genuine, though.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the task at hand. "Sonic, why are you even trying those on? It's the middle of winter, you don't exactly need sunglasses."

"You can wear shades any time of the year if you want, that way I can look cool all year round. Plus I fancied a change." He replied.

"But you've been wearing the same pair of sneakers ever since I met you." I commented. Not that I minded, those shoes looked good on him.

"Not true, remember that one time I wore those SOAP shoes?"

"Only because of that brand deal you got." I replied, digging around on the clothes rack a little more.

"Well, you got me there." He admitted.

"I think those sunglasses aren't half-bad on you." A familiar voice commented. Almost in sync, mine and Sonic's heads turned to see Shadow emerge seemingly out of nowhere from behind a clothes rack.

"See, Amy? Shadow gets what kind of look I'm going for."

I ignored Sonic's remark and focused on the black and red hedgehog who had appeared out of thin air mere seconds earlier. How did we not notice him come in? We were the only ones there. I guess we were both too distracted to notice. "What are you doing here, Shadow?" I asked him. I thought that would be the question on both mine and Sonic's lips, but apparently my partner didn't seem to care about Shadow's reasons for being there. He just looked happy to see him.

"I was doing some Christmas shopping and I saw you two in here, so I thought I'd come in and say hi." He explained.

"Does no one do their Christmas shopping in advance?" I questioned aloud.

"Nah, it's just us that leave it to the last possible moment." Sonic responded.

"Well, unlike Sonic here, I've been busy working and haven't had time to get round to it until now, meanwhile he's been putting it off." Shadow quipped.

I laughed "That's so true." I saw Sonic frown. I could tell by his face that he knew he couldn't deny it.

There was a brief pause, before Sonic spoke up again. "So, shopping for Christmas presents, huh? Did you get me anything nice?" He asked, nudging his arm playfully.

"I might have gotten you something." Shadow teased.

"Is it that jetpack I've always wanted?!"

Shadow chuckled "You wish."

Sonic glanced over at the far end of the store, where the summer section, which didn't have a lot in stock due to obvious reasons, was located. "Oh, I saw something that was perfect for you. Wait right there and I'll be back in a sec." He said, spinning on his heels and running towards the other side of the store "Don't move!" He called back to Shadow as he disappeared behind a few clothing racks.

I'm not sure why I didn't question the fact that Sonic had looked at something and thought of Shadow. It didn't seem to click in my head, same as all of the other things I had seen going on between them. I was too wrapped up in my own head to realise that something was going on right under my nose. They had been practically flirting in front of me moments earlier and it had barely even registered. I thought they had just been teasing each other.

Once Sonic was gone I went back to browsing, checking different dresses but still not having much luck on finding one. I accepted that we'd probably be there for a while, or end up going home empty handed. I heard Shadow's foot steps on the tiled floor as he came up behind me. "Sonic causing you trouble?" He asked.

"Yeah," I sighed, and turned to look at him. "He said he'd help me pick out a dress for the New Year's Party in Station Square, but he's done nothing but mess around since we got here. But he's not exactly great when it comes to fashion sense so he wouldn't be much help anyway." I glanced over in Sonic's direction and I was just able to see his head peeking out as he rummaged around through the stock "And I have to admit, it is kind of cute seeing him run around like a little kid."

It was nice to talk to Shadow every so often. He was a good friend and very understanding, so he was one of the easiest people to vent to.

"I was invited to that party in Station Square too." Shadow announced.

"Oh, really?" I responded.

"Yeah, I'm just not sure if I should go or not, I don't exactly have any suits to wear."

"Why don't you wear your GUN uniform, I'm sure they wouldn't mind that." I suggested. "And you could always hang around with me and Sonic at the party, if you like."

"I don't know, I wouldn't want to get in between you two."

Looking at what he said now, I can't help but wonder if that sentence had a deeper meaning. Maybe he wasn't just talking about the party.

"It's fine, we won't mind. You really should go, it will be fun." I encouraged him.

He glanced at the floor and then looked back at me. "I'll think about it." He then paused and glanced at the dresses I had been looking at "Say, why don't I help you pick out a dress?"

"You'd do that?"

"Sure. I may not know much about fashion, but I'll be much more of a help than Sonic. Just pick out a couple of dresses that you like and try them on in the changing room and I'll tell you which ones I like and which one I think you should choose."

I took a minute or two to consider it. Shadow's help would rather welcoming and would allow me to get it done faster, plus if he understood what kind of look Sonic had been going for he might have had some sort of idea on fashion.

"Okay." I agreed "Thanks, Shadow, you're a life saver." I said gratefully. I took about five dresses off the clothes rail and carried them over to the changing room, while Shadow followed me over.

"I'll wait out here. I can't exactly go anywhere, since Sonic wants me for something."

I giggled "Good luck with that, I can't imagine what it could." I told him, before entering the changing room. I paused and leaned against the door to keep it open "Oh, and I might need your help with the zipper."

"Zipper?" Shadow questioned.

That's when I realised that he'd probably never zipped up the back of a girls dress before, though it did make sense as he had never had a girlfriend. "Never mind, don't worry about it, I'll do it myself."

I let the door swing close and locked it. I then hung up the dresses and removed my fluffy, pink winter coat. I slipped out of my signature red dress and put on a turquoise green ball gown. It was strapless, with the upper part hugged my body while the dress opened out elegantly at the legs. There was a large, ribbon like bow attached to the lower back. It took a bit of time, but I managed to do the zipper.

I unlocked the door and stepped back out into the store. "Okay, Shadow, what do you-" I cut myself off when I noticed that Shadow wasn't there. It didn't take long to find him, though. He was standing in the middle of the store, close to the counter and till, face to face with Sonic. "-think..." I whispered under my breath.

Sonic fixing a ball cap on Shadow's head, trying his best to work around his head quills. "There." He declared "What do you think?" He asked.

"I think it's a bit on the small side." Shadow replied.

"Hm. Hang on, let me just adjust the strap." He said, reaching round Shadow's head with both hands.

It was like I wasn't even there. I was completely invisible to them. I slowly and quietly retreated back into the changing room, but continued to watch with the door slightly ajar.

"There. What do you think now?" Sonic asked.

"Um... It's alright, I guess." Shadow responded with a shrug.

"Alright?! I think it makes you look wicked cool!" Sonic replied, giving him a beaming smile. His smile quickly faded, and the two held eye contact. Sonic lifted his hand and adjusted the front of Shadow's hat.

Instead of putting his hand back down by his side, it found it's way to Shadow's cheek and he began to gently caress it.

"I guess we're both a couple of cool guys, huh?" Sonic whispered, so quiet I could barely hear him.

A quiet laugh escaped Shadow's lips.

I touched my own cheek, my mind being brought back to the moment Sonic and I first kissed. I remembered it so vividly, like I was reliving it. My towel was slipping, so Sonic adjusted it, then he lifted his hand and touched my cheek. It was so similar to the scenario that was happening that day only... But I was the outsider, watching it all unfold.

Suddenly that moment that had happened over a year prior didn't seem so special anymore. _I_ didn't feel so special anymore. The idea that I might not have been the only one that held Sonic's affection pained me.

I stood in stunned silence as Sonic leaned towards Shadow. Shadow closed his eyes and allowed Sonic to lean closer. And... And then...

Sonic hit his forehead on the front of Shadow's hat.

Shadow opened his eyes and laughed "How could you forget that was there?"

"I don't know, I guess I got caught in the moment."

"It probably wasn't a good idea anyway, what with, well... You know." Shadow replied. He was undoubtedly talking about me. I retreated into the changing room just in case they looked in this direction. They didn't. They were too wrapped up in each other's company.

I don't think they had planned it. Shadow seemed like he had genuinely wanted to help me. Maybe they had seen a small window of opportunity and had just took it.

"Yeah, you're right. Sorry... I got a little carried away... It's just... I'm glad you're here."

Shadow smiled, his eyes shimmering "I'm glad too."

I let the changing room door close as I moved back inside and collapsed onto the stool in the corner. Everything was coming together in my head. Everything I had mentioned earlier, what I had seen mere minutes before. It all made sense. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I choked back a sob and covered my mouth with my hand as I fought back tears. I tried to regain my composure as best as I could. I took off the dress and put my original clothes back on.

I'm not sure why I didn't confront them. I should have. But I was dazed and confused, I didn't really know what to do. My instincts kicked in. I told myself to run.

I exited the changing room and hung the dresses back up on the nearest clothes rail I found and made my way towards the store exit. My pace quickened as I moved passed Sonic and Shadow. "Sonic, we're leaving." I told him, not even giving him a second glance.

"Oh, okay." He replied. "See you later, Shadow. And you better get that hat, it suits you." He addressed him, before following me. He caught up rather easily, which wasn't unbelievable. "Didn't you find a dress you like?" He asked me.

"No, this store didn't have what I was looking for." I replied. He was so oblivious to what was happening. I wish I could have still been that oblivious.

"Do you want to try somewhere else?"

"No, I just want to go home." I stated firmly. I wanted to get away. I wanted to get him away from Shadow. I needed to clear my head, I needed to make sense of what was going on.

"Okay." He responded simply.

I didn't stop walking. We were on the high street, quite far from the store, but I wasn't really taking in my surroundings. My mind was racing a mile a minute. I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to do.

I had to stop. My breathing was heavy and fast. I was going to break down at any second, and I couldn't let him see me like that.

"Are you okay, Amy?" Sonic asked concernedly.

"I'm fine, I just... I need to go to the bathroom." I replied, quickly moving towards the public restroom before he could even respond.

"Alright, I'll just... Wait here then." I heard him say as I entered the restroom.

It was quiet, no one was in. I went into the furthest cubicle and slammed the door, locking it. I pressed my back against the door and slid down into a sitting position as I began to sob violently. I pulled my knees up to my chin and hugged my legs, tears streaming down my face.

I could picture it in my head, what I had seen in the store. I still can to this very day. I wish I couldn't. It's one of the one things I'd rather forget.

They were together. They loved each other.

I didn't want it to be true. But I had seen it. I had seen it with my own two eyes. And it hurt. It hurt me in ways that you couldn't even imagine.

I didn't know what was going to happen after that. What could I do? I didn't know if I could confront him. But I couldn't carry on as normal either. I felt so conflicted.

There was one lingering question on my mind at the time.

Where would I go from here?


	9. Year's End Part 1

**Hey all. This one is pretty festive, no? I can tell you with complete honesty that I did not plan it that way. I did not expect to put up a christmas/new years chapter around Christmas. It's a complete coincidence. I was putting off writing this one for a while as I've been busy with school and holiday stuff. But since the last chapter was a while ago, I thought I'd split this one it two halves so that you'd have something to read and enjoy. Plus it serves as a build up as to what's coming in part 2. Hope you like it.**

* * *

 **Sonic's POV**

I can't believe I didn't notice Amy's shift in behaviour that day in the clothes store. When she stormed out, I thought she was just frustrated that she couldn't find a dress. It never occurred to me that she might have seen what had happened between me and Shadow. Maybe I didn't know her as well as I thought I did.

I did notice that she was acting strangely for a while after that day. She seemed distant, in a world of her own, and didn't take in a word I said to her. It was like she was going through the motions. I couldn't figure out what was wrong, but I didn't want to bring it up or ask her what was wrong. I did make sure that she was okay, and whenever I asked she always insisted that she was fine.

Looking back, I realise now that she must have been spending every waking hour thinking about what she'd seen, about what I had been doing behind her back, and facing inner turmoil on what to do. I shouldn't have put her through that. I wish I hadn't.

The week and a half leading up to Christmas passed by like a blur. Before I knew it, it was Christmas Day, but luckily I had got all of my shopping done just in time. We had invited Tails, Knuckles, Rouge, Cream and Vanilla round for Christmas dinner. Amy was in charge of the kitchen and food, while I helped out wherever she needed me.

I chatted to our guests for a bit. We had all already exchanged presents earlier on and were instead spending the time crowded in the living room drinking wine, except for Tails and Cream, of course, who had to settle with orange juice.

I approached Rouge, who was standing next to Christmas tree at the time. She was already on her second glass. "You seen Shadow today at all?" I asked her. She was the closest person to Shadow other than myself, so if I didn't know where he was, she was always my go to. He had been invited, I had even sent him a voice mail, but he hadn't called me back about the subject.

Rouge took a sip of white wine before answering "I went round to his apartment this morning to drop off his present and ask him if he was coming over, but he wasn't home. At least, I don't think he was, but you can never really be sure with Shadow."

"Hmm." I hummed in response. Something seemed fishy about what Rouge was saying. I believed her, but Shadow was hardly ever not in his apartment when he wasn't working. Where else would he be? "Excuse me for a moment." I said, turning and heading into the kitchen. Amy was there adoring a flower print apron and seasoning the meat. I went up to her and kissed her on the cheek and I saw a small smile emerge on her face. For a moment she must have forgotten what I had done to her.

"Hey Ames." I greeted, leaning back against the kitchen unit, but also being careful to not let my quills get into any of the food. "Need any help?" I asked.

"Not at the moment, no. But I might need you to cut up some vegetables in a bit." She replied, not looking up from her work.

"So you don't need my help right now?"

"Well, no-" she began.

"So you won't mind if I nip over to Shadow's to give him his present?" I interrupted.

"What?!" Her voice hitched a little and she looked at me for the first time since she had started working on the Christmas dinner. "Sonic, we have guests, you can't just leave, and I need you to cut some vegetables up later. Were you even listening?"

I put her slight outburst down to the stress of having to cater to our guests and prepare the dinner. But that was far from the truth.

"Of course I was. I won't be gone very long, I promise."

Amy clenched her fists and stared down at the marble kitchen counter. She sighed and then looked back up at me "Fine. But if you're not back in an hour we'll start eating without you." She warned.

"You won't even notice I'm gone." I replied. I kissed her goodbye and dashed out of the kitchen, grabbing Shadow's present along the way. As I wrapped up warm in a hat and scarf, I let everyone know where I was going and left shortly after. It was snowing outside and the ground was covered in a blanket of white, but I didn't let that stop me from sprinting to Shadow's apartment.

The building was quiet when I entered the lobby. I assumed that the majority of people living there were out visiting family and friends. Not many people like to be alone on Christmas. Shadow must be one of the select few.

I had managed to shake off some snow that coated my body at the entrance, while the small amount left that were keen on sticking to me started to melt. I mentally apologised to the janitor for dripping and leaving a trail of snow from my shoes all over the tiled floor.

The elevator was out of order, but I hardly used it anyway, so I sprinted up the stairwell and reached Shadow's floor. The corridor his flat was on was just as quiet and desolate as the lobby had been. I trudged down the hall, my footsteps soften by the red carpet. I reached Shadow's door, tucked the present under my arm and knocked.

No answer.

I rolled my eyes and knocked again.

No answer.

"Shadow, it's me, Sonic." I called out. I wondered if my voice was muffled by the door. I leaned against the wall and pressed my head against the door and knocked once more "Come on, I know you're in there."

I heard movement inside the apartment. A few seconds later, the door opened, with Shadow holding it ajar and his face slightly obscured by the gold-painted chain that didn't allow it to be opened any further. I watched his amber eyes scan me over, taking note of the present, before staring blankly at me with his piercing gaze.

"Hey." I greeted, smiling warmly at him.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" He asked dryly. He was in one of his grouchy moods. I half expected him to go 'bar humbug' at the mere mention of Christmas.

"Nice to see you too." I responded sarcastically. "Can I come in?" I then requested.

He didn't reply, he just shut the door. I heard him fumbling around with the chain lock for a few seconds, before the door fully opened "If you really want to."

I stepped inside "Y'know, you should really give me a key to this place, then I wouldn't have to ask to come in all the time." I suggested cheekily. I then glanced around the apartment and noticed a significant lack of Christmas decorations "Not very festive in here." I commented.

Shadow walked over to me and silently pointed at the corner of the room. I followed his finger with my gaze and saw a small, artificial Christmas tree plugged into the wall socket, it's branches twinkling a different bright colour every second.

"Huh. Forget I said anything."

"You really didn't have to come round, Sonic." Shadow said. "You have a party to be at, you didn't have to drag yourself out here for my sake."

"But I wanted to be here. If I wasn't, then I wouldn't be able to wish you a Merry Christmas and give you your present." I responded. "Or were you just avoiding me because you haven't gotten me one?" I joked.

Shadow smiled at that, but couldn't come up with a witty comeback "No, it's in my room. I'll go get it." He stated, before disappearing into his bedroom.

As I waited, I took his present out from under my arm and placed it on the couch as Shadow returned, carrying a white box with a red ribbon tied around it and a bow on top. "Do you want to open yours first?" He asked, holding it out to me.

"Yes please." I said eagerly, practically snatching it off him. I examined it for a moment "It's a little small to be a jetpack." I commented.

"Yeah, it's weird that GUN wouldn't let me leave the base with a fully functioning jetpack." He joked. "But I can always take it back if you don't want it."

"Too late, you already gave it to me." I replied, taking hold of the bow and planning on undoing it.

"Oh, the ribbon is not actually tied around it, the box was just designed to make it look like it was." Shadow explained.

"I see... That's pretty clever."

"Makes the process quicker and a lot neater too."

I removed the lid off the box and peeked inside. "Oh man!" I exclaimed, reaching in and pulling out a stuffed toy.

"Since you've been handing off all the toys you've won on the ball toss, I thought I'd buy you one that you can keep for yourself." He told me.

I took a better look at the toy. It was another strange looking hybrid, like the debbit or 'jackalope' as Shadow liked to call it from the fair, only this one was a greyish blue, with a long black and white ringed tail and pointed ears. I knew one half of it must have been a lemur, but I couldn't figure out what the other half was.

Almost as if he could read my mind, Shadow confirmed what the hybrid was. "It's a cross between a fennec fox and a lemur." He explained.

"A felemur!" I cried, lifting the toy high above my head and grinning from ear to ear.

"From the look on your face and the way you're acting I take it that you like it?" He questioned.

"I love it! This is way better than a jetpack. Thank you so much, Shadow." I said gratefully. I wasn't exactly sure where I was going to put it when I got home, but I'd figure it out later. I placed the felemur down and picked up Shadow's present "Now it's time for you to open yours." I stated, handing it to him. "Merry Christmas."

It was wrapped in silver wrapping paper that was covered in little reindeer heads who had shiny, red noses. The aforementioned wrapping paper was quite crumbled and the whole present was covered in a mess of sheller-tape. But what can I say, I'm not that good when it comes to wrapping gifts. I tried my best.

Shadow didn't seem to mind. He stared at the present silently as he carefully tore off the wrapping paper and dumped it on the floor for the time being. What had once been hidden had been revealed to be... A telescope. It was inside a box, but you could gather from the picture on the front that it was just that; a telescope.

"A telescope...?" Shadow questioned, looking up from the present at me for answers.

I spoke softly "Back when we were on the Ferris wheel, I noticed the way you were looking at the night sky and it got me thinking. I thought, maybe you might have missed it, being up there amongst the stars. The Ark was your home once, it was the only place you ever knew." I hesitated for a moment "It had been Maria's home too."

The mention of her name pained him. I saw his whole body shudder and a grimace emerged on his face as I uttered that one word.

But I carried on. "I know that was a hard time in your life, and I know you want to leave it behind you. But even if you leave that stuff in the past, it doesn't mean you don't miss it. So, I thought, if you had this telescope, whenever you miss space or the Ark or Maria, you can look through it and see all of the stars and then... You won't feel so lonely anymore."

Shadow was silent. He glanced down at the box in his hands and then at me once again. "I may have left my past behind me, but that doesn't mean I don't miss her. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her..." He closed his eyes and let out a shaky sigh. A small smile appeared on his lips "She would have loved to have met you." He muttered, opening his eyelids and chuckling lightly.

"I would have loved to have met her too." I replied.

"You both mean so much to me... It's a shame you'll never see each other." He sighed. "Thank you, Sonic. This was a really thoughtful gift. I'm sure I'll use it often."

He put the box to one side and stared off into space as he looked back on fond memories "She used to love Christmas. She was the one that introduced me to it. They even had a huge fake Christmas tree in the ARK that she and I decorated." He smiled to himself, but that smile disappeared sooner than it had arrived "I wish she was here."

I went over to embrace him in a warm hug. He welcomed the embrace with open arms, wrapping them around my upper back and gripping my shoulders. I rubbed Shadow's back soothingly and kissed the side of his head. After a few minutes of silence, I eventually spoke up once again "Rouge came over earlier, but you probably already knew about that, huh?"

He went quiet and I felt him tense up a little in my arms. His chin rested on my shoulder, and I could feel him roll his jaw. I couldn't see his face, but I wanted to. I wanted to see how he was feeling. He had probably been dreading this conversation and had hoped I wouldn't have brought it up "Yeah, I... I was here when she came round." He admitted.

"Why didn't you let her in?" I asked.

"Because I knew she'd try to drag me along to your party, and well... I didn't really want to go." He replied.

As soon as he said that, I pulled away from the hug and took a good look at his face. He avoided making eye contact with me, his expression was his usual frown. I had excepted long ago that that was his normal resting face. I had guessed that he hadn't wanted to come to the party, but I couldn't guess as to why not. "How come?" I asked.

"Because Amy would be there." He replied. "It's hard for me to watch you two play the happy couple and pretend that everything is normal. Whenever she speaks to me I have to smile and nod and listen to her talk about you and it just... It just doesn't feel right." He explained.

I gave him a concerned look "I never realised you felt that way before." I responded, reaching out and running my fingers along his arm.

"Because I didn't let on. It didn't bother me at first but now... It's different. Amy isn't just your girlfriend, Sonic, she's my friend, and I can't be around her knowing what I'm doing to her. Maybe you can... But I can't. I don't want to be stuck in the middle."

"It's okay, I understand. It's not easy." I said softly.

Shadow turned away from me and stared at the telescope "I think it would be best if I stay away when you two are together."

"If that's what you want. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable by asking you to come round when she's there, I should have realised sooner." I apologised. "Was that why you were grumpy earlier, because you thought I had come round to convince you to come to the party?"

"Partly." He responded "Honestly, do you really think I want to be alone on Christmas? If it weren't for what's going on between us, I would have taken you up on that offer. I was grumpy because... I feel like I have to isolate myself on the day I could be spending time with my friends. And I wanted to spend today with you, I want be to with you all the time, in every waking moment but I can't. Sometimes I feel like... I don't see you at all."

I stared at him sadly "I'm so sorry you feel that way, Shadow." I apologised "It wasn't supposed to be this way." I whispered quietly.

"Things don't always work out the way we want them to."

I glanced around the room, anywhere that wasn't in Shadow's direction, trying to come up with some sort of solution, or find a silver lining. "Say... Why don't I come back later? I'll bring you a bunch of leftovers in a doggie bag." I suggested, lightly touching his arm.

A ghost of a smile appeared on Shadow's face and his eyes sparkled. "Just the two of us?"

"Just the two of us." I confirmed.

His smile grew "I'd like that." Shadow replied.

I picked up my present and put the toy back inside the box for safe keeping. "Well, I better get back, Amy wants me to cut up the vegetables. I'll give everyone your best wishes." I stated.

"Okay. Don't tell Rouge that I was here when she came over... She'll give me a real ear full if she finds out."

"Don't worry, I won't." I told him, patting his arm. "By the way, were you invited to the New Year's Party in Station Square?" I asked.

"Yeah, I spoke to Amy about it while we were in the clothes store a few weeks ago."

"Really? Huh, she never mentioned it. Are you planning on going?" I questioned. It's not that I wanted to pressure him into going or wanted him to come hang out with me and Amy after hearing his stance on the subject, I just wondered if he was already set on going or not. If he was going to avoid us then that was completely fine with me.

"I'm not sure, but Rouge was invited too so she'll probably get me to go with her and Knuckles." He answered with a small shrug.

"Well, if you do end up going, I'll try and sneak away for a bit and we can have a chat." I told him. "But we can talk more about that later. I'll see you soon." I said, moving close to him and giving him a brief but affectionate kiss on the lips, whilst taking hold of his hand and squeezing it gently.

As I moved away, he kissed me back. "See you soon." He whispered.

I made my way over to the door to let myself out and waved goodbye to him. As I closed the door, I heard him call out "Love you." And I caught a glimpse of him in the corner of my eye. I saw his smile fade when he thought I wasn't looking at him anymore.

Our time together was short, but we cherished every moment we got to spend together. He needed me then, but I couldn't be there even if I wanted to. Amy would kill me if I didn't go back and I didn't want to let her down after I promised her. I vowed that I would make it up to Shadow... Somehow.

I wasn't sure what was going to happen on New Year's Eve. I hadn't really given it much thought. It seemed like it was going to be just like any other.

I was wrong. Something was going to happen, something that I wouldn't be able to predict. Something that could potentially put mine and Shadow's relationship in jeopardy.


	10. Year's End Part 2

**Here's the other half of Year's End for you. Is this the last chapter of the year? I don't know, maybe, it is rather fitting if it is. I'll have to see if I can write the next one before 2016 draws to an end. If not, then I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and I shall see you in 2017!**

 **Enjoy the chapter. Let me know what you think as always.**

* * *

 **Sonic's POV**

I got back in time from Shadow's apartment for Christmas dinner. Amy had already prepared all the food and the table was set by the time I arrived back, so my services were no longer required.

I apologised to Amy for not being there to help, but she just gave me a cold shoulder and instructed me to sit down and start eating. I did as I was told and joined my friends at the table at my assigned seat, which was in between Tails and Knuckles.

The meal was great. I enjoyed every mouthful, and once our stomachs were filled, we started pulling christmas crackers and cracking some festive jokes. Excuse my pun.

One of my favourites would have to be the joke about the shark and the snowman. I'm sure you can guess the punchline, and if not then I won't spoil it for you. But I digress, it was a really fun evening. We chatted for a long time, before the group eventually began to disperse one by one until only me and Amy remained. I helped her clean up and fill up the dishwasher, to hopefully get back in her good books. While I was doing that, I bagged the leftovers that I had promised Shadow.

After the cleaning was done, we both relaxed on the sofa for a while, just soaking in the calm and relaxing atmosphere after a busy day. We talked for a bit, about things we had discussed with our friends, presents we had gotten, how Shadow was. I was the one who brought him up as it served as a segway for my next topic; going round to his apartment again.

She didn't like that. She was keen on enjoying the alone time that we had now that everyone was gone, but when I insisted on going to see Shadow, she begrudgingly accepted that that was what I was going to do and stated that she was going to turn in early and I was free to do what I liked.

I didn't like letting her down, especially on Christmas. But I had told Shadow I'd go see him again, and I intended on keeping my word.

Shadow was happy to see me. His bright, beaming smile was a nice thing to see compared to his cold welcoming from earlier that day. He was a little rosy cheeked and I soon realised why when I got into the apartment, as he seemed to have been drinking. He had also managed to set up the telescope while I was gone, as it was propped up beside the window and the box was on the floor along with the instructions. It was a rather complicated design but I wouldn't say I was surprised that he figured it out, I was more surprised that he had managed to be so productive while being slightly drunk. I know I would never have been able to do that.

I told him to relax while I got out the leftovers from Christmas dinner and warmed them up in the microwave. Shadow was impressed by the food, but I like to think that he was more impressed by my microwaving skills.

After he finished, we talked whilst drinking alcohol. What we actually talked about is lost on me, as I was a bit drunk by the end of the conversation. But I do remember looking through the telescope, which Shadow seemed really pleased with himself about. He got a really good view of the stars through his window, there were no tall buildings around to obstruct it and it was aiming it at a really beautiful looking star system. I'm sure he'd put it to good use. I'm glad I got it for him. After that, we spent the rest of the time watching whatever Christmas films we could find on his TV.

Shadow fell asleep in my arms not long into Home Alone 6 so I turned off the TV, grabbed his bed sheets from his room and wrapped him up warm as to not disturb him. I kissed him goodnight and left, feeling happy that I had spent some time with him. It was hard to juggle our relationship along with my relationship with Amy. Either way, someone felt left out. I just wanted to make them both happy in any way I could. But sometimes that's not enough, even for me and my super sonic speed.

New Year's Eve came quicker than expected, it seemed to come around faster than Christmas had. And so, it was time for me and Amy to attend the New Year's Party that we had been looking forward to ever since we had been invited.

We spent most of the day getting ready. I had to collect my suit from the dry cleaners while Amy did herself up. She had settled on wearing a violet coloured strapless gown that was narrow at the bodice but flared out at the full-floor length skirt in several layers, and was doted with many, glittering sequins.

Meanwhile, I had a black suit and black tie to go along with it, which was kind of boring in comparison to Amy's dress, but I could deal with it. I was more concerned about having to wear pants again.

We arrived at the Station Square City Hall on time and the party was already in full swing. Is being fashionably early a thing? Even so, once we got adjusted to the lively atmosphere we started to mingle, as that's the first thing you should do at parties. At least that's what I'm told.

I talked to Tails, since he was always invited to those types of events after he battled Eggman single handedly and was awarded that Chaos Emerald. I didn't see Rouge despite the fact that I knew she was supposed to be there, but I did see Knuckles, who was also at a loss when it comes to where she was. I'm not sure how he puts up with her hijinks.

I also spoke to a couple of towns folk and was approached by the mayor. We shook hands and he thanked me for my service, for saving Station Square from Chaos several years prior and then proceeding to save the world not long after that. I told him that I was happy to help and would always try to protect people from Eggman and his evil schemes. I hadn't seen much of Eggman for a while, not that I was complaining, I was glad that I didn't have to deal with battling him and working around both Shadow and Amy at the same time.

Once I was done mingling, I could get down to the really fun part; free alcohol. They had set up a temporary cocktail bar on the first floor and Amy and I had both agreed that we wanted to get some cocktails. The bartender guy did a little show while preparing customers' drinks, he juggled fruit and drink shakers and all kinds of cool stuff.

I challenged the bartender to make me the most alcoholic cocktail he could come up with, which he confidently accepted, while Amy just ordered a martini. Unlike her, I felt rather experimental and adventurous that night.

The display the cocktail guy did was nice, but it was the same sort of shtick over and over again and I eventually got bored of watching him juggle various objects. My mind started to wander as I glanced around the room, trying to find something interesting to look at, when something, or should I say someone, caught my eye.

Shadow was standing beside an indoor water fountain, talking with Rouge and what looked to be Omega... In a tuxedo? To this day I don't know how he put that on.

Shadow was dressed up smart in his blue GUN uniform with his quills slicked back. He really had made an effort. It was good to see him, for a while I had thought that he wasn't going to show up.

I watched him for about a minute. He didn't notice me staring. I glanced away as to not make it obvious to Amy. I counted to ten in my head and then glanced over at him again. He was still absorbed in his conversation with his team. I looked away for the second time and waited a little longer before looking again.

Shadow's gaze seemed to wander from his main focus, with his eyes eventually falling on me and he caught me looking at him. His expression was unchanged and neither of us let on that we had seen each other. He tilted his head slightly to the right and nodded over at the stairs.

I could only assume at the time that he wanted to meet me on the second floor. I watched him as he turned to Omega with his back to me. His hands were behind his back and I could see that he had three fingers up.

He wanted to meet upstairs in three minutes. He glanced over his shoulder at me to check that I understood and I nodded in confirmation. He then finished off his conversation with Team Dark and disappeared off into the crowd, making his way to our meet up point no doubt.

I turned to Amy and placed my hand on her arm to catch her attention, as the people talking all around us were too loud for me to get her attention verbally, even though I was right next to her. "I'm going to nip to the toilet." I told her, leaning close and speaking into her ear so she could hear me.

"But you haven't had your drink yet." She replied.

"Well, I better make some room for it in my bladder."

"Alright, I'll save your drink for you. And make sure you're back in time for the New Year's countdown, I'd like to have a dance with you." She said with a smile.

"Ok, I will. See you in a bit." I responded, kissing her on the forehead before heading off into the crowd. I managed to weave my way through and made it to the stairs. A gripped the banister and exhaled calmly, before making the climb.

The second floor was much quieter, in fact there weren't that many people about. They must have really been drawn to the cocktail bar downstairs. I glanced around for a moment, before I caught sight of Shadow, who was standing outside on the balcony, staring up at the starry sky and the large, silver moon.

I stepped out into the cold night air, silently approaching Shadow. He had removed his GUN jacket and had it swung over his shoulder, allowing me to reach out and touch his bare back, just below his quills. He quivered as soon as I laid my hands on him. I knew his sweet spot.

I proceeded to wrap my arms around him and pull him in close. He turned his head and I greeted him with a kiss on the lips. Our time together was so rare and so short, and we chose to cherish every minute, every second, that we got to spend together.

"It's so good to see you here." I whispered, planting hot kisses on his shoulder and cheek.

"It's good to see you too." He responded. "I never thanked you for making time for me on Christmas, I really appreciated that."

"I'll always make time for you, whenever I can." I replied. "Can you believe it's New Year's Eve already?"

"No, time seems to be going by so fast." He responded.

"It's strange because it never use to bother me before. Normally time has to keep up with us."

Shadow gazed up at the moon "It will be the start of a new year soon. Just think, five months ago I had come back from being away... Feels like a life time ago." He murmured.

"You're not going on anymore surprise trips are you?" I asked.

"No, not unless my superiors have anything to say about it. Besides, I'm not in any hurry to go anywhere, not when I have you in my life."

"I'm glad to hear that." I replied, resting my chin on his shoulder. "What's your New Year's resolution, Shadow?" I then asked, as we were, or at least had been on the topic of New Year.

"To make sure I'm always with you." He responded.

I was touched. He said it so nonchalantly, his tone was so matter of fact and it really caught me off guard. I felt my cheeks grow hot and flush pure red. I was left utterly speechless. "I- I don't know what to say to that." I stuttered.

"Then don't say anything." He replied. He then changed the subject for me "What about you, do you have a New Year's resolution?" He asked.

"To give up on eating chilli dogs." I told him.

He burst out laughing. "What kind of resolution is that? Did Amy make that one up for you? She must have really high expectations because you could never manage that."

"Well, you know what they say, not a lot of people keep their New Year's resolutions."

"I'm not going to be like those people. I'm going to stay true to my word." He stated.

I believed him. Whenever Shadow said something like that, he meant it. Honestly, though, I made up the giving up chilli dogs thing. My actual resolution was to figure out what I was going to do about my duelling relationship with Shadow and Amy. Something would have to be done eventfully, I couldn't avoid making a decision forever.

I doubted that I would be able to keep that resolution.

"Why did you pick here to meet up, by the way?" I asked curiously.

"I wanted to watch the fireworks at midnight. I've always liked fireworks, but you don't get to see them go off very often. There's so much energy packed up inside a tiny rocket... And they explode in a big display of bright colours and lights... They're just so... Mesmerising." He stated.

"They are quite pretty." I agreed.

He moved my hands and stepped to the side, turning around to fully face me "Why don't you stay up here and watch the fireworks with me?" He then asked.

"I'd love to." I said almost immediately, completely forgetting about Amy and what she wanted from me.

"Great." Shadow responded, smiling happily. "How about I go get us both a drink while we wait?" He suggested.

"Sure." I'm not sure why the mention of drinks didn't set off an alarm bell in my head. An alarm bell that should have been saying 'You need to get downstairs and be with Amy before the countdown starts'.

He was about to leave, but turned back to me and asked "What time are we on?"

I quickly retrieved my phone from my back pocket and checked "We got about eight minutes till midnight." I told him.

"Plenty of time." He stated "I'll go get us some drinks and be back in time for the fireworks."

He went up to me, took hold of my tie and pulled on it, bringing me in close for a kiss on the lips "Don't go anywhere." He whispered, spinning on the balls of his feet and hurrying off.

I smiled to myself and leant back against the stone railing. I closed my eyes and breathed in the fresh air, waiting in anticipation for the new year to begin and the fireworks to start. A voice pierce the silence.

"I don't believe it."

My eyelids shot open and I felt my heart skip a beat. There was a person standing on the left side of the balcony entrance, hidden in shadows and had most likely gone unnoticed by Shadow when he had exited mere moments earlier.

As the feminine-looking figure stepped out into the moonlight I realised it was...

"Rouge?" I questioned aloud. I was already getting nervous, in fact I could feel myself sweating "How long have you been standing there?" I asked.

She ignored my question and began to approach me. Each step was slow and deliberate, putting me on edge. The worst part was that I couldn't back away, as there was a already mentioned guard rail made from stone and a large drop behind me.

"I didn't think it was true." She continued. "Before Shadow went away, nearly two years ago now, he came to me and told me that you were acting strangely around him... Not like yourself at all. He thought... He thought you might have had some sort of feelings for him."

My grip was tightening on the stone rail. I swear I might have chipped off a few bits of concrete that night after digging my fingers into it.

"He asked me about it, and I said I didn't see it that way, that it was probably nothing. Then he told me that you wanted to tell him something the day before he left, but you chickened out. He asked me if I would keep an eye on you while he was gone, and for a while, I actually believed what he had said about you, since you were so down in the dumps after he left. But when you started dating Amy, I thought there was no way that it could possibly be true."

She was very close to me at that point. If she had gotten any closer, then our chests' would have been pressed up against each other's. Well, technically my chest and her breasts. But I was more focused on her eyes, that were narrowed, cold, dark and unforgiving "And yet here you are... Kissing him on a balcony and not even remotely trying to hide it."

Before I could figure out her next move, in one swift motion she lifted her hand and slapped me across the face. Hard. "Ouch!" I yelped, instinctively putting my hand to my sore cheek.

"You're lucky it was me that saw you two up here! Because if it were Amy, then that would have been a lot worse! She probably would have hit you with her piko-piko hammer, that would have been much more fitting." She snarled.

I couldn't even get a word in before she started shouting at me again "You idiot! What are you playing at?! You're dating Amy and Shadow?! How could you do that to them?!"

"I'm not doing this to hurt them, either of them, I swear!" I cried.

"It doesn't matter if you're trying to hurt them or not, Sonic, you don't do something like this. It's not right." She spat.

"And who are you to lecture me on what's right, you're a jewel thief for crying out loud!" I retorted.

"Don't you dare bring my profession into this, that has got nothing to do with the fact that you're cheating on Amy!" She said back, jabbing at me with her finger.

"Please don't tell her, Rouge, this will destroy her if she finds out." I pleaded. Arguing back was getting me no where and I knew how bad it looked.

"If you know it will destroy her, then why the heck are you doing it?!"

"Because... Because I couldn't help myself." I admitted. "I'm not doing this to hurt Amy, I'd never do anything to hurt her but... I love Shadow, and I just... I just couldn't stay away." I closed my eyes, my cheek throbbing. Rouge certainly packed a mean punch, or slap I should say. "I didn't mean for it to turn out like this."

Rouge went quiet. I opened my eyes and saw her looking down at the floor. She then sighed "You don't do yourself any favours do you, Sonic?" She shook her head and put her hands on her hips "I never thought you could be so stupid."

"I know I'm stupid, and I know what I'm doing to Amy. You don't have to tell me. I think about it everyday, it eats away at me, all the time, when I'm with her, when I'm with Shadow, when I'm alone. I could have chosen to stay away from him, heck, I could have chosen to not drag Amy into my messed up life, to start something with her but... I've never been one for long term planning, I've never really thought things through... And now I'm paying the price."

Rouge seemed to have calmed down. She looked almost sympathetic towards me. I didn't want her sympathy. I already felt weak and pathetic as it is. "You need to fix this, Sonic, and you need to fix this soon." She told me bluntly.

"How?" I asked. Deep down I already knew her answer.

"You need to tell her. It would be best if she hears it from you rather than finding out herself. Because she will find out eventually, you do know that, right?"

I didn't answer.

"Oh Chaos." She murmured "Did you actually think that you could go on like this forever without any consequences?" She asked, though she wasn't expecting an answer. I don't think she wanted one. "You're such a fool."

"I know." I muttered. That's all I could say.

"Sonic, look at me." She ordered.

I hadn't made eye contact with her for a while. I had been looking anywhere else but her eyes and her intense gaze. I sighed and reluctantly made eye contact with Rouge.

"I'm not going to tell Amy about what I saw, but my silence comes at a price. The only thing I want from you is for you to tell her about what you've been doing behind her back. Now, I'd say you have two choices; you either tell Shadow that you can't do it anymore and beg Amy for forgiveness and hope she'll take you back or you tell Amy, say that you can't be with her anymore and stay with Shadow." She explained. "I'll give you till the end of January to tell her, because I'm not going to be able to keep quiet forever, and if you can't tell her, then someone has to... And I guess it will have to be me."

I couldn't believe it. I was going to have to do the one thing I had never wanted to do. And if I didn't tell Amy about my affair, then Rouge would, and I couldn't bare to imagine how that would turn out. "But what good will come from that?" I questioned.

"Nothing. But maybe you should have thought about that before you started cheating on her." She replied coldly.

Rouge took hold of my hand and clenched it tightly in hers "You need to tell her, Sonic. She deserves to know. Don't make me have to do this... I don't like it anymore than you do but... It has to be done. It's not fair to keep her in the dark, to lie and cheat behind her back. I know you're not a cruel man, and I know you don't have any malicious intentions, so please... Think about it, and do the right thing." She finished. She let go of my hand and turned to walk away.

"Rouge." I called after her.

She looked back at me, saying nothing in response.

"Thank you for not saying anything. I'll tell her, I will, I just need some time."

She glanced away from me "I'm not doing this for you, you know." She replied. "Just because we had a little thing together in the past, it doesn't mean anything to me. I'm doing this for Shadow and Amy. They're my friends, I don't want to see them get hurt, especially not by you." She explained. "But can't you see that you're stringing Shadow along?"

I furrowed my brow. I felt a twinge of anger inside me. "No I'm not. I'd never do that to Shadow."

"You really are a fool." She sighed. And in the blink of an eye, her tone changed "Look, Shadow isn't just my friend, he's my team mate, I rely on him, I trust him with my life. And I swear, if you hurt him in any way, if you continue to lead him on like this, then you will have me to answer to. You understand?"

I swallowed hard and nodded.

"Now, I suggest you go downstairs and be with your girlfriend. She's been waiting for you." And with that, she left, not even giving me a second glance.

That's when it clicked. I remembered that Amy wanted to dance with me at midnight. I needed to go find her!

I rushed out back inside, almost crashing into Shadow, who was carrying the drinks he had gone to collect "Hey Sonic, I got us some drinks. Are you ready to watch the fireworks?" He asked.

"I'm sorry, Shadow, I can't. I have to go." I apologised.

"Hey, it's alright, don't worry about it. If there's somewhere else you need to be, then I won't stop you." He responded.

"No, it's not alright. I really wanted to watch the fireworks with you."

"Don't beat yourself up about it. When the fireworks start, I'll watch them and think of you."

"And when I hear those bangs I'll think of you." I replied. I touched his arm "But I have to go now. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Before he could say anything else, I quickly moved passed him, dashed over to the stairs and hurried down to the first floor. I had to stop making promises I couldn't keep. Shadow had such patience with me, I didn't understand why, what had I done to deserve that from him? But surely he must have had a limit of to his patience. But then... What was his breaking point?

Amy was still waiting beside to cocktail bar, and looked to have had finished her martini. She looked rather sad, but seemed to perk up a little when she caught sight of me coming over. "There you are, I was starting to think you might have fallen in. Where have you been?" She asked.

"Sorry, Ames, I got caught up with some towns folk that wanted to talk to me and I couldn't get away. But I'm here now, and that's all that matters."

I gratefully took my cocktail from her and took a quick swig, and almost choked. It really had a powerful kick, I guess the bartender had won that round. I turned to him and gave him a thumbs up and he smirked at me as he was cleaning a glass.

"I saw Shadow here earlier." Amy told me.

"Did you say anything to him?" I asked.

"No, he was ordering some drinks and I didn't want to hold him up." She replied. "I saw Rouge too. I asked her if she'd go look for you for me. Did you see her?" She asked.

"No, I haven't seen her." I lied.

Amy gave me an odd, almost suspicious look. "I guess that extra drink Shadow ordered was for her then. She was probably too busy talking to him to look for you." She murmured.

The room suddenly went quiet as the mayor began to speak. He was using a microphone to amplify his voice.

Amy gasped. "It must be getting close to midnight." She said excitedly in a hushed voice.

Her assumption was correct as the mayor encouraged us to join him in counting down from ten. The crowd began to count in unison, with me and Amy joining in by shouting as loud as we could.

"10,

9,

8,

7,

6,

5,

4,

3,

2,

1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!" We all exclaimed, our shouting so loud that you could probably hear us a block away. I knew Shadow could definitely hear us from where he was. High up on that balcony, staring up at the moon and the stars on that cloudless night. I could picture him in my head. I imagined him smiling to himself as he listened to us chant.

The fireworks started almost immediately. Although I couldn't see them, I could see flashing lights of various colours shining through the window. Red, then yellow, then blue, and then green... And the sound of loud banging over head. I thought of Shadow as I listened to the fireworks exploding. I was sure that he was enjoying them.

I turned to Amy and offered her my hand "Would you like to dance?" I asked.

She smiled and took my hand. As soon as she did so, I pulled her over to the middle of the room and began to spin us both around in a circle. After several turns, and feeling mildly dizzy, I pulled her close to my chest, scooped her up in my arms, and lifted her up above my head, her gown draping over my body as I spun her around in the air, while she laughed all the while.

As I spun her around and around, I caught sight of Rouge watching us, her arms folded and her gaze completely fixated on us both. That's when the realisation of it all truly hit me like a ton of bricks. I was going to have to tell Amy everything, and if not, then Rouge would, which I knew neither of us wanted. There was no way out of it, no way of keeping it a secret, no way to stop Rouge from telling her if I failed to do so. By January, everything was going to change, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The New Year had only just begun and already my time was running out.


	11. Three of Swords

**A/N - Hello everyone!**

 **First chapter of 2017! Only took me two months. Sorry about that, I got distracted. I wanted to write a few fanfics for my current obsession, Attack on Titan, but now I'm back to my main focus. The gap between chapters shouldn't be too long. Hopefully.**

 **Anyway, in this one, you may notice a few things mentioned in early chapters resurface in this one. I'll give you a hint. Chapters 4 and 7. Have to tie up loose ends.**

 **Also, the next few chapters are going to be pretty intense. Things are really heating up now.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Amy's POV**

I didn't normally go up into the attic. It was dark, dusty and full of spiders. In fact, before that day, I had only been up there once. It was when I had first moved into Sonic's house, some of my stuff needed to be placed in storage so I helped Sonic stash them in there.

It was around a week and a half after the New Year's Party that I decided to venture up there again. My reason for doing so was that I wanted physical proof of Sonic's unfaithfulness.

You'd think I would be pretty convinced that Sonic had been cheating on me. I had seen it with my own two eyes after all. Well, after a while, I had gone into a state of denial. I just couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. Sometimes people just make up their own truths and hide away from reality. I was one of those people. I managed to convince myself that what I had seen in the shop was a lie. That I had simply imagined it.

And that's why I went into the attic. It was my last resort. I had become desperate. I had searched the entire house, looking for something, anything, that would prove me wrong, or better yet prove me right. I needed to know that I wasn't going crazy.

I thought, if Sonic had something to hide, then what better place to store it than in the attic. As I mentioned before, neither of us went up there very often, so it seemed like the perfect place.

I climbed the fold-up ladder and tugged on the light switch string as soon as I reached the top. The old lightbulb hanging from the ceiling buzzed as it flickered on, a brown moth fluttering around the yellow light.

I glanced around, and the first thing my eyes landed on was a box labelled 'Amy's fortune telling stuff' which had been written on by none other than Sonic. Feeling somewhat sentimental, I approached the box and lifted off the lid. I was hit by a wave of nostalgia almost immediately when I caught sight of my old crystal ball and set of tarot cards. I smiled to myself as I ran my fingers over the crystal ball, but grimaced when my fingertips met a large crack that covered the surface.

It must have gotten damaged during the move from Vanilla's house to his place. I took my hand away from the crystal ball and closed the lid on the box, continuing on with the task I had set out to do.

Examining the room more closely, I noticed that most of the boxes closest to the entrance belonged to me, as at the time they had been put up there more recently compared to Sonic's things. However, there was one box fairly close to me, hidden behind a few of my own, that had nothing written on it, and seemed to have been moved. You could tell this by looking at the collection of dust on the wooden floor, since the box had been shifted ever so slightly there was lack of dust where it had once been.

I was drawn to the mysterious box, as I had a strong feeling that what I was looking for would be in there. What I was looking for exactly I could not say. I walked over to it, shifting some of my own stuff out of the way in order to clear a path, but was stopped in my advancement when I saw a rather large spider scuttle over the box. I physically cringed at the arachnid, and took a step back as I watched it crawl down the box and onto the floor, before running off into the jungle of junk.

I shuddered. I hated spiders. I shook off the awful feeling and proceeded to walk over to the box, keeping a watchful eye out for anymore spiders. I knelt down in front of it and lifted the lid. Inside, I discovered some photo albums that Sonic must have made. Or maybe someone else had made them for him. I couldn't be certain. But what I found most interesting was a photo that had been left out on top.

It was a photo of Sonic and Shadow.

I reached into the box and grabbed it, and proceeded to pull the photo out and shut the lid. It took me a few seconds before I recognised what the photo was of. It was taken on Sonic's 18th birthday, I remembered the party quite well. I had only been fifteen at the time, so it hadn't really been a fun experience. I say that because I had to spend the party in the 'kiddy' area, with Tails and Cream, while the 'adults' got to have all the fun.

Why that particular photograph had been kept out of the photo albums I did not know. Maybe Sonic had dumped it in the box planning on adding it to one of the albums later. But shouldn't he have done that years ago? Why had he been keeping it with him all that time?

That's when I noticed that there was something written on the back of the photo. I was about to flip it over and read the note when I heard Sonic's voice calling from downstairs. "Amy?" He shouted. "You up there?"

I nervously glanced around the room. I knew I'd have to come up with an excuse as to why I was up there. What could I do? What could I say?

My eyes landed on my 'fortune telling' box once again. That's when I had a lightbulb moment. I rushed over to it, picking it up and slotting the photo inside. I then carried it over to the attic entrance, switched off the light, and carefully climbed down.

Sonic was waiting for me at the bottom of the ladder. "Hey Ames." He greeted with a smile "What were you doing up there?" He asked.

"Oh just looking through some of my old stuff." I lied. "Look, I found my crystal ball and tarot cards. Do you remember when I used to read those?"

"I sure do. You used to look at them religiously." He responded.

"The tarot cards predicted that I would one day marry you. So far, they seem to be right. Though it is taking a while to come true." I commented. I hadn't thought about marriage for a long time. There was a time where I would dream of marrying him. But I was starting to have my doubts.

"Well, you know what they say, marriage takes time, right? Just gotta take it one step at a time. Who knows, maybe one day it'll happen." I could see that the mention of marriage was making him uncomfortable. He was even sweating. I don't think he had any plans on marrying me.

I decided to change the subject "You know, it's getting rather cluttered up there. We should have a clean out some time." I suggested.

"But most of the stuff in the attic is really important to me. I don't want to throw any of it away." He protested.

"I know, but there has to be some stuff that doesn't have sentimental value. Plus, we might need to store more stuff up there, and there isn't much room as it is. We'll have to sort through all of it eventually."

"Fine. But I doubt there's anything up there that isn't important."

"I bet there's an old stale chilli dog hidden somewhere that you've forgotten about." I teased.

"I wouldn't put it passed me." He admitted. "Anyway, I have to go over to Tails' house. He wants me to help him do some repairs on the Tornado 2."

"When you say help, do you mean standing around and holding his tools for him while he does all the work?" I questioned.

"Pretty much." He replied, chuckling lightly. "Well, I better get going, can't keep Tails waiting. I'll be back around lunch time." He said, kissing me on the cheek. "See you later, Amy." And with that, he dashed downstairs and out the front door without another word.

I couldn't help but wonder if Sonic was being truthful when he said he was going to help Tails. Maybe it was just a cover up story and he was actually going to see Shadow. I debated on whether or not to call Tails to see if Sonic really was going to see him. But what if Tails knew about the affair? How would I know if he was covering up for Sonic or not?

I wasn't sure what to believe anymore.

I was going to head downstairs, but I made a quick detour into mine and Sonic's room to grab my phone when I had a thought. Maybe I could look through Sonic's phone for any incriminating evidence. But then I realised that he had taken his phone with him. I'd have to look for a good opportunity to take it and look through it.

I placed the box down on the bed and scrolled through my contacts. My finger hovered over Tails' name but I hesitated. I decided to not call him and instead scrolled down further and called Rouge.

She answered almost immediately. "Hi Amy." She greeted. "What can I do for you?" She asked.

"Hi Rouge. Can you come over? I need to talk to you." I requested. "It's important." I then added.

"Sure thing. I'll make my way over as soon as I can. See you in a bit." She could tell I was serious.

"See you." I responded, ending the call and turning my phone off. I wanted to talk to Rouge about the New Year's Party. I had asked her to go check on Sonic, and when she came back she told me that she had spoken to him and that he was on his way down. But when I asked Sonic if he had seen Rouge, he said he hadn't. Their stories didn't add up... So who was telling the truth? Was Rouge covering up for him? I needed to know. And the best way to find out was to confront her face to face. I wish I could have done the same with Sonic, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

I scooped up the box once again and carried it downstairs. I entered the living room and placed it down on the coffee table. I lifted the lid and took out the photo of Sonic and Shadow, flipping it over and reading the note on the back.

'Talk soon - Shadow'

Talk soon? Talk about what? And when? When had Shadow wrote this? Did he write it the day the picture was took? Did he write it a while afterwards? Did he write it recently? I had so many questions and so little answers. I was getting no where, and my head was starting to hurt. I needed a distraction. I glanced around the room, my eyes landing on the box once more.

I lifted the lid and grabbed the tarot cards from inside. I hadn't used them in a long time, so I was a little rusty. But I wanted to know what the future held for me and Sonic. If we even had a future together.

I moved everything off the coffee table and began to shuffle the cards. Once I was satisfied, I laid them out face down in a long line. I paused for a moment, staring at the back of each card. I lifted my hand above the end card and began to move it across the line, allowing the tips of my fingers to glide across the top of the cards, before I stopped above one in particular.

I had picked my card.

I carefully picked it up and quickly flipped it over. My heart dropped as soon as I saw what was on the other side.

A heart, suspended in the air, surrounded by dark clouds and pouring rain, pierced by three swords.

The Three of Swords.

When upright, that card represents painful separation, sorrow heartbreak, grief, rejection. It can also represent betrayal and abandonment. In my case, it was all of those things and more. That card was something I never wished to see.

Three swords... In my situation, could they possibly represent the three of us? Me, Sonic and Shadow. Perhaps.

A slammed the card down on the table. I couldn't bare to look at it anymore. Using the tarot cards was a mistake. I decided to do something else while I waited for Rouge. I'd make myself useful and put the laundry in the washing machine.

I walked into the kitchen and sorted through the laundry basket. Most of the stuff in there belonged to me, as Sonic hardly ever wore clothes. The only things in there were a couple of his white socks and his jacket, which I'd never actually seen him wear. In fact, I don't recall him ever buying it. It did look rather similar to a jacket I'd seen Shadow wear a couple of times. At the time, I didn't realise that in actuality the jacket did belong to Shadow.

I checked the pockets to make sure he hadn't left anything in them. My hand came into contact with some crumpled paper in one of the pockets. I cupped my hand around it and pulled it out, only to realise the paper was in shreds. It would seem that Sonic had torn it up.

I dropped the jacket back in the laundry basket and placed the pieces of paper on the kitchen counter. Curiosity got the better of me and I began to arrange the pieces, trying to make some sort of sense out of the writing on the individual pieces. I could tell that it was Sonic's hand writing, but it was hard to arrange them all correctly. It was like a very difficult jigsaw puzzle.

I spent a very long time trying to piece it all together, much longer than I would have liked, but I finally managed to make sense of the note.

I began to read it out loud, uttering the words under my breath. A few words were crossed out, some completely scribbled over, but I could still make out the message.

"Hey Shadow

There's something I've been meaning to tell you, something I've wanted to tell you for a long time. I've tried to tell you in so many ways, but it just never worked out. There's no easy way to say this but-"

I stopped myself when my eyes landed on the final fews words. I choked up a sob.

"I love you.

Isn't that crazy?"

There was no use denying it anymore. What had happened in the shop, the note on the photo, this message to Shadow. I didn't want to accept it but it was true. Sonic was cheating on me with Shadow.

I leaned back against the sink and fought back tears. The tarot card was right. Sonic had betrayed me, and I was going to lose him. He was going to leave me for Shadow. I just knew it. However, despite the cheating and lying, to tell you the truth I...

I didn't want to lose him.

I heard the front door open and the person coming in called out as they entered. "I'm here!" It was Rouge.

Rouge shut the door behind her and came into view. She was wearing a brown coat and purple scarf, and was also adorning some black boots. She smiled when she saw me, but her smile faded when she saw the look on my face.

"Amy?" She uttered my name, her tone full with concern. She quickly approached me and took hold of my hands "Amy, what's wrong? Has something happened?"

The tears I had been holding back started to trickle down my cheeks. "Sonic... Sonic's been cheating on me." I responded, my voice trembled.

"What?" She sounded shocked. But could she be faking it? I had a sneaking suspicion that she knew more than she was letting on. "With who?" She asked.

"With Shadow." I told her. I wasn't sure if I should point the finger or not. She was trying to comfort me, but... I couldn't just keep quiet about it. I gave her a cold, accusing look "But you probably already knew about that, didn't you?"

Rouge looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me. At the New Year's Party you said that you had spoken to Sonic, but then Sonic said that he hadn't seen you. Neither of your stories add up, so either you're lying and you didn't go see him or you were covering for him and you both didn't have time to come up with a story!"

"Amy, I wasn't-" she began, but I interrupted her.

"I bet you would cover for him, you'd cover for both of them. Shadow's your best friend, of course you'd lie for him, and Sonic, you and him have history, you'd lie for him too. But you can't be honest with me because we're not as close as you are to them, is that it?!"

"Amy that's not true!" She retorted. "I care about you as much as I care about them, and I-" she paused, taking her eyes off me "I was covering for him." She admitted. "But you have to understand that I wasn't doing it for Sonic. I was doing it for Shadow, to protect him. But I was also doing it for you. I couldn't let you find out like that, it wouldn't be fair, and I knew how much it would hurt you."

I knew it. I knew she had been covering for him. But her intention hadn't been what I expected. She had been lying for my sake as well as Shadow? I was touched. I felt guilty about what I had said to her. I shouldn't have questioned our friendship.

"You- you know about them? You have to tell me what's been going on. I need to know, it's been driving me nuts." I pleaded.

"Well, I don't know all the details." Rouge replied.

"Tell me everything you know."

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" She questioned.

"I do." I stated firmly. On the inside I had my doubts. Did I really want to know?

She glanced over at the couch "You may want to sit down." She said, ushering me over. I obliged and walked over to the couch and sat down. Rouge sat down next to me and began to explain everything she knew.

I cleaned away the tarot cards as she did so, leaving the Three of Swords out on the coffee table. Once that was done, I simply sat and listened carefully to everything Rouge was telling me. She told me about what Shadow had told her before he left to work abroad, that Sonic had been in love with Shadow for a very long time, longer than he had been with me. She told me that she didn't know how long they had been seeing each other, but if she had to guess she'd say that they hooked up at least a month after Shadow had come back. She then told me what she had really seen that night, at the New Year's Party. Sonic and Shadow had been kissing on the balcony, exchanging small talk, like a normal couple. It was almost like I didn't exist.

That's where Rouge finished. We were both quiet for a moment. Rouge had a watchful eye on me, as if she was trying to read me, to figure out what I was thinking. If she could read my mind she would she that I was boiling with anger. Not only was Sonic cheating on me but he had loved Shadow even before we had got together. What was I to him? Something to fill the void Shadow had left behind? Did he even love me at all?

"So what you're saying is..." I began. "That mine and Sonic's relationship is built on a complete lie?"

"Well, I guess that's one way of putting it..." She murmured. I could tell that she couldn't find any other way to say it.

"Then there's no point of me being here anymore. If he loves Shadow so much, then he can have him!" I exclaimed, getting up off the couch and charging upstairs.

"Amy, wait!" Rouge called after me.

I entered my room and grabbed a suitcase from the wardrobe, flung it onto the bed and began to stuff with my clothes. I heard Rouge bounding up the stairs, and moments later she entered the room. "Amy, you need to take a second to think."

"What is there to think about? Sonic has been lying to me since the beginning. I mean nothing to him, I'm just second best!" I shouted. I turned, opened up the drawers and emptied the contents into the bag.

"Amy stop it, you need to listen to me."

I didn't stop, I just continued to pack. "Amy, stop it!" Rouge shouted, grabbing my hands and holding me still.

"Sonic loves you! When I spoke to him on the balcony, he told me how much he didn't want any of this to happen. He also told me that he loves you, if he didn't, then why would he still be with you? Why would he pursue a relationship in the first place? I told Sonic that he needs to make a decision, that he needs to tell you what he's been doing or I'd have to do it for him. If I had known that you knew then I wouldn't have made him agree with it. He's going to make a choice, he's going to either stay with you or go be with Shadow, and I have a feeling he's going to pick you. He'd be dumb not to. I know it will hurt Shadow, but in the long run it will be better for everyone. And I think you still love him, if you didn't then why are you still here, why didn't you leave him when you first found out?"

"I... I do. I do still love him." I admitted. It was true. I felt betrayed, angry and hurt, but deep down I still loved him. I had loved him since the moment I met him. Nothing could change how I felt.

"Then you have to fight for him. If you still love him then you have to find a way to make it work. But you can't let him get away with it either. When the time comes, he's going to tell you that he's been cheating on you. I'm not going to say anything to him, so you can choose to pretend that you didn't know or not, it doesn't matter. All the matters is that you give him hell, and you make sure that he works for your forgiveness. If he's truly dedicated to making it work as much as you are, if he can prove to you that he can be trusted, then then and only then can you forgive him." She finished. "At least, that's what I say."

Rouge let go of my arms. I stayed still, glancing at the bag and then staring down at the floor. "You could leave him now, if that's what you really want. At the end of the day, it's your choice, nobody else's. I just want what's best for you. You've wanted this for so long. Can you really give up now?"

I took a moment to think. Leaving him seemed so easy, but Rouge was right, if I wanted to leave, why hadn't I done it the second I saw him cheating on me. I did still love him, but could I really make it work? After everything he had done behind my back? If he wanted to make it work, then maybe, just maybe... I could too.

"I'll do it, I'll fight for him. I've been with him for almost two years now. I've wanted this since the day I met him. I can't give up now. I won't."

"I know you'll make it right."

"Thank you, Rouge. For everything." I said gratefully, wrapping my arms around her in a hug. She embraced me.

My thoughts returned to the Three of Swords. I'd change my fate, and the fate of mine and Sonic's relationship. It would take time, and whole lot of work, but I had a feeling that I'd find a way to make a better future for both us.


	12. It's Over

**A/N - Hello**

 **I improved the wait time a fair bit, no?**

 **Just so you know, the story will be reaching its conclusion at chapter 19. Only 7 chapters to go.**

 **The story has reached its climax. Can it get any worse? Tune in next time to find out.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

 **Sonic's POV**

The time had come. It was time for me to choose.

Choosing between Amy and Shadow was one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make. If Rouge hadn't pushed me to make a decision, I doubt I ever could have done it. By trying to avoid hurting Amy and Shadow, I was only making my situation worse, digging a larger hole for myself that I would be unable to escape from. It took a slap to the face and a good talking to to make me realise what I was doing to both of them. I had been drifting through life, living in a fantasy, but Rouge had managed to snap me back to reality and helped me see sense.

It took a long time to figure out what I was going to do. I thought it over many times, going back and forth in my head, until I eventually came to the conclusion that I should break up with Shadow. I thought that it would be the best for everyone. Chaos, was I clueless.

I thought that Shadow would be better off without me. I didn't think I was good for him. He had sacrificed so much to make our relationship work for as long as possible, but what had I done for him in return? What had I sacrificed?

Nothing.

Rouge was right. I had been unknowingly stringing him along the whole time, making him promises I couldn't keep. Shadow's life would be better without me in it.

In my head, I pictured it working out for everyone. Shadow wouldn't have to feel the need to isolate himself from people that were close to me and Amy, he wouldn't have to work around me anymore, he could focus on his job. And Amy... Amy would have everything she ever wanted. She'd have me.

I decided to break the news to Shadow first. I'd deal with Amy afterwards.

February was drawing near. The weather was still miserable, it was pouring with rain almost every other day. Shadow had been invited to a night out with a group of GUN soldiers he'd been on a few missions with. He had asked me if I wanted to tag along a few days prior to me coming to a decision. His reasoning was that he still wasn't exactly good in social situations. He also wanted to treat me to a free drink.

I had said yes initially. But after deciding what I wanted to do, I wasn't sure if I should go or not. Would it be right if I was going to end up breaking his heart afterwards?

I choose to go with him anyway. It would seem odd of me if I said no at the last minute.

It would be our last night together. I wanted it to be special. Once it was over, I'd tell him.

I may have chosen to leave him, but I still loved him. Nothing would ever change that. You don't know how hard it was for me to come to that decision. I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to let him go. But I had to.

It was for the best. I kept telling myself that over and over again.

But if that really was the case, then... Why didn't I believe me?

I guess deep in my heart I knew that what I was doing wasn't right for me. But I didn't want to be selfish. I wanted to Shadow and Amy first, not me.

I met up with Shadow at a bar, and he introduced me to the GUN soldiers. I can't remember any of their names, but they all seemed nice. Those were some guys I'd do plenty of shots with. And I did.

I don't remember much from that night. I remember drinking, but not a whole lot. I think we might have sat next to the bar for a while, ordering more drinks, while laughing, telling stories and jokes, and other stuff like that. Most of it is just a blur. I still can't recall anything or fill in the gaps, even now.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up. I had a throbbing headache. My face was pressed into the pillow, and I could feel the sun on my exposed back. The curtains must have been open. I had my eyes closed, and refused to open them, as I feared it would only make my headache worse. I felt so tired, and ill, and groggy... I didn't want to move, not even lift a finger. Instead, I would lay in darkness and allowed my other senses to do the work.

I remember thinking 'How did I get home?' 'Did I walk? Did Shadow and his friends drive me back?' But then I started to notice a few little things that made the whole situation seem rather off. The mattress felt different, more firm. The quilt around my lower body felt different too, it wasn't the same type of fabric. I could hear buzzing traffic outside, which I normally didn't get in my house. And the bed, it had sort of a musky smell. The scent was strong, overwhelming my nostrils. It almost smelt like...

Shadow.

My eyelids shot open and I quickly pushed myself up using my hands. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the bright light of the morning sun shining through the blinds (which, might I add, was a nice change of pace from the gloomy dark clouds and rain), but once they did, I came to realise that I was in Shadow's room. And in Shadow's bed.

I rolled over onto my back and sat up. I checked beside me, only to realise that Shadow wasn't there. Apart from me, the bed was completely empty.

I turned my head to look the other way and noticed that my phone was resting on the bedside table. I reached over, wincing in pain at my aching head. I really was hungover. I managed to grab my phone and proceeded to check the time. It was around 11 am, I had overslept by a huge margin. I then checked my messages. I had several miss calls from Amy, as well as a few texts from her, basically asking me where I was and why I hadn't come home.

I texted her to let her know that I was okay and that I had crashed on Shadow's couch for the night. She didn't respond, but I just assumed that she had received them and that I would talk to her about it properly later on.

I heard soft footsteps coming down the corridor. A few seconds later, the door creaked open and Shadow came in carrying a tray "Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey." He said, his tone was soft and rather high pitched, something I didn't hear often. In fact, I don't think I've ever heard his go so high pitched. He must have assumed that I was asleep.

He was busy looking down at the tray, making sure that he didn't spill anything that he was carrying, but when he looked up, he noticed that I was actually awake. "Oh, you're up. Nice to see you finally awake, lazy bones." He teased.

"Eggs and bakey...?" I slurred. I was a little slow, I think I had still been a bit drunk.

"Yeah, that's how the saying goes, right?" He asked.

"Uh... Yeah." I replied.

"I thought so. Maria used to say that to me every so often. On the ARK, we normally ate dry space food, the kind of stuff that comes in packets. But once in awhile, we managed to have actual food. Sadly, I wasn't allowed the stuff that she and the professor had... But that didn't stop her from sneaking some of her food to me." He smiled to himself. His smile faded "I'm not sure why I remembered that..." He murmured. "I still don't recall some of the things that happened on the ARK. I'm learning something new almost everyday."

He closed his eyes. I watched him silently, trying to figure out what he was thinking. I wondered if he was thinking about Maria, perhaps recalling on a certain event. I wondered if I reminded him of her in someway.

He opened his eyes again and exhaled deeply. "Anyway-" he began, walking over and placing the tray on my lap. "I made you breakfast, eggs, bacon, toast and beans. I also got you a glass of water and aspirin, to help you with the headache you must be having."

"It's killing me." I responded, rubbing my forehead with my hand.

He chuckled "You're such a light weight. You hardly had anything to drink last night."

I groaned.

He smiled "Can I get you anything else?" He asked.

"Um... Tea, please." I requested.

He placed his hand under my chin and lifted my head slightly, before leaning in and kissing me on the lips. The kiss was brief, as he pulled away soon after "Alright. You eat up now and take your aspirin and I'll go make you some tea." And with that, he left, closing the door behind him.

The kitchen was a short walk from the bedroom, so I heard the kettle starting to boil a few seconds after.

I glanced down at the tray. The breakfast Shadow had prepared for me looked lovely but... I couldn't bring myself to eat it. I felt sick to my stomach, like I could throw up at any moment. I decided not to eat it, fearing that it might make a reappearance.

Instead, I put the tray to one side and popped a pill of aspirin into my mouth and held it on my tongue. I then gulped some of the water, and swallowed both that and the pill. I hoped that my headache would clear up after I had taken something for it.

The inside of my head was buzzing with so many questions. One of which that was nagging at the back of my mind was if I had slept with Shadow. In my drunken state, could I have possibly had sex with him the night before I was supposed to break up with him? Why else would I be in his bed?

I tried to remember, but my mind was blank.

If I had slept with him, would that have been the best time to tell him that I wanted us to break up? I began to debate as to whether or not I should go through with it. Maybe I could do it another day?

I knew that I couldn't. I had made my decision, I was going to tell him that day, there was no backing out. But I also had to make sure what had happened the night before.

I started to curse myself as I pulled back the covers and climbed out of bed. How could I be so stupid? Why did I allow myself to get so drunk? Why did I agree to go with him in the first place? I was just making an even bigger mess at that point.

My feet were bare. I glanced around the room, before my eyes eventually landed on my shoes and socks that had been discarded by the wardrobe. I went over, picked them up off the floor and put them on.

My head was still throbbing but I tried my best to ignore it. Once my shoes were on properly and my socks were rolled down, I picked up my phone and the tray and left Shadow's room.

I found Shadow in the kitchen, leaning back against the unit and sipping his own cup of tea that he must have made prior to me asking for one. "Nice to see you finally out of bed." He teased.

I said nothing to him as I placed the tray of uneaten food beside the sink. "Why didn't you eat your breakfast?" He asked. He looked a little disheartened by the fact that I hadn't even touched it.

"I would have love to have eaten it, it looks so good, but I'm not feeling so good at the moment." I explained.

"Oh, I see. Yeah, there's no point eating if you're just going to end up throwing it back up." He agreed. "Sorry, I should have realised." He apologised.

"Don't be sorry, you just wanted to treat me to some morning breakfast. I'm sorry that I couldn't stomach it."

"Don't worry about that, I'll eat it instead. Waste not want not as they say. Maybe give yourself a few hours before you try eating anything." He suggested.

We were both quiet for a moment. I could hear just about everything that was going on inside and outside of the apartment, the water dripping from the tap, the low whistle of the kettle, the busy traffic outside.

"How long until the tea is ready?" I asked. I didn't want to have to talk about it, I didn't want to tell him. But I'd have to eventually. I couldn't avoid it forever.

"Any minute now." Shadow responded.

Everything went quiet again.

Shadow stared at the wall on the opposite side of the room while sipping his tea. He gave me a small glance when he noticed me staring at him. My gaze must have been pretty intense. But he didn't say anything.

I opened my mouth to speak but hesitated. I let out a sigh, resting my hands on the kitchen unit and staring at the sink "Shadow, did we uh..." I paused, trying to find the right words. Why did I feel so awkward? "Did we do it last night?" I asked, looking him straight in the eye.

He took the cup away from his mouth "'Do it'?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow.

I couldn't believe that he wasn't getting it. It seemed so obvious in my head. "Y'know, while I was drunk... Did we do it in your bed?"

I could almost see the cogs whirling in his head before it finally clicked "Oh, you mean sex." He said casually "You know you could have just said, Sonic, it's not exactly a bad word."

"I don't care what you want to call it, did we have sex or not?" I questioned, trying to get a straight answer from him.

"Wait, you don't remember?" He quizzed. He didn't allow me to answer. "Huh, and I thought my memory was bad." He murmured. "No, we didn't have sex. You were too drunk to even stand." He replied.

"What happened? How did I get here? Why did I wake up in your bed?" I asked.

"Whoa, slow down with all the questions." He responded. "Look, you got wasted at the bar, and I couldn't let Amy see you in that kind of state, so I brought you back here. You were kind of all over me, telling me how much you loved me, but I couldn't really tell what you were saying as you were slurring, not mention your breath absolutely stunk. Then you passed out on me, so I put you in my bed to sleep it off while I slept on the couch." He explained. He then gestured at the couch, and I followed his finger to see that there was a blanket and a pillow on it.

I felt like face palming myself. How could I not have seen it when I walked in?

"Are you sure that's what happened?" I asked. What was I doing? Why didn't I just shut up?

Shadow gave me a long hard look, a hint of anger in his eyes. "What, you don't believe me?"

"Of course I believe you." I replied. _Stop talking, Sonic._ I remember telling myself. I was only making it worse.

"Then why would you question me? Do you think I've been looking for opportunity to sleep with you? Do you really not trust me? Do you really think I would take your drunk talk as consent? Sonic, you made it clear to me that you didn't want to have sex with me back in Empire City. And I have been honouring that. Look, I know you like to think that by not doing it with me, you're being faithful to Amy in someway, but you're really not, cheating is still cheating. But sure, if you really want to believe that you're not harming her in any way, then you're still her faithful, loving boyfriend. All you did in my bed last night was sleep. End of discussion." He shut me down, just like that.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come off like I was accusing you." I apologised.

Shadow put his tea down beside him. "It's fine." His gruff tone contradicted his statement a great deal.

I lowered my head. "Listen, Shadow, there's something I've been meaning to tell you."

"What is it?"

"There's no easy way to say this but... Well..." I trailed off. I couldn't even look him in the eye as I was saying it. "I think it's time that we... Broke up." I finished.

There was a look of complete and utter shock and devastation on Shadow's face. It broke my heart. He opened his mouth to say something but I quickly interjected.

"Before you say anything, I'm not doing this because I don't love you anymore. I do love you, more than ever... And that's why I have to leave you. What we're doing, it isn't fair, on you, or Amy. I want you to be happy, to get your life back, and you can't do that if you're with me. You've done so much for me in order to make this work, you've been so patient, and kind, and loving and... I really don't deserve you. And you deserve better than me. Someone that can give you what I can't and hope, by letting you go, that'll you'll be able to find that someone." I finished.

Shadow's eyes were full with sadness. "But I don't want anyone else. I want you. Don't I get a say in any of this?"

"I... I've already decided."

"But isn't there any way I can change your mind?" He questioned.

I simply shook my head. "I'm sorry, Shadow."

"I don't want your damn apology!" He shouted. In a blink of an eye, his sadness had turned to a rage "When did you get to decide what was best for me?!"

"I thought it was the right thing to do!" I exclaimed.

"You thought? I don't care about what you 'thought'! What about what I think? Doesn't any of that matter to you?! What even am I to you? Some sort of escape from the mundane life you got yourself stuck in?"

"No! I love you, I wanted to make this work but I can't, not with both of you in my life!"

"Then why did you pick Amy? Why are you leaving me for her?! Is it because-" he stopped for a moment, giving me a long and judgemental glare "Oh, I get it. You're running from the mess you've made. You're going back to her because she's the easiest option. You don't have to lift a finger in that relationship, she'll do anything for you, hell, I bet she'd even forgive you if you told her what you've been doing behind her back! And that's why you chose her, isn't it? Because you've already gotten everything sorted out? If you left her for me you'd have to start all over, not to mention the extra baggage, having to deal with me, and my past. And you chose now, after I had given you an out, a chance to leave me. You probably said no because you hadn't quite had your fun yet. But now you're tired and bored, and you think it's okay to toss me aside like I'm nothing!" He was seething was anger, his body was shaking, his hands curled into fists. "Like I mean nothing to you."

"None of that's true, I swear, I just want what's best for you." I tried to explain.

"SHUT UP!" He practically screamed at the top of his lungs.

Being at the brunt end of Shadow's rage was terrifying. I was afraid of what he was going to do next. I didn't blame him for being angry. I'd be angry too. In fact, I was. I was angry at myself.

"I don't want you're excuses. Stop pretending like you know what's best for me. You have no idea." He voice was calmer, quieter, but he was definitely still very angry. "You're just like everyone else. I thought you were different, but you're not. You're trying to control what I do, like so many others before you. I'm sick of everyone trying to control me!"

"Shadow, I-" it was no use, I couldn't get a word in, I couldn't justify myself. Nothing I said could fix what I had done.

The kettle started whistling loudly, signifying that the water had finished boiling. It managed to break the tension for a brief moment, as Shadow had his attention on it. He moved it to one side and stared blankly out of the window.

"This was a mistake. You were a mistake." He murmured. "It would have never have worked out anyway. You would've grown old and I would have stayed the same. I wouldn't have been able to give you the things Amy could." He continued. His voice lacked any emotion now. He seemed broken. I had broken him. "Amy is welcome to have you. You two can live a long and happy life together. You can have kids, get married, grow old together... Die together, be buried together. What happens to me is none of your concern. Not anymore."

"Shadow." I reached out to him, but he slapped my hand away.

"Don't touch me. Why are you even still here, it's clear that you don't want to be with me anymore so just go!" He yelled.

"But-"

"Get out! I don't want to see you ever again, you hear me?!"

I started to back away, moving towards the apartment door as quickly as possible. I turned around, twisted the knob and opened the door. I looked back at Shadow "I'm sorry."

"GET OUT!" He shouted.

He picked up his still full tea cup and hurled it in my direction. I hurried outside and shut the door behind me as I heard a loud crash on the other side. I could imagine the shattered pieces on the floor and the steaming brown liquid trickling down it.

Another crash, and the door shook. He must have thrown something else, but what it was I didn't know. I heard a third crash, only that time it had come from inside the apartment. He must have broken something quite large.

What had I done?

I slowly turned away and walked down the corridor, my footsteps softened by the red carpet. I put my hand on the wall and leaned against it as I moved. I didn't even make it halfway before I collapsed onto the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

The sounds of crashing had ceased, with the apartment building falling deathly silent. Although, I could hear faint muffled cries coming through the wall.

"I'm sorry, Shadow." I whispered, even though he could not hear me. Tears trickled down my cheeks and dripped onto the floor. "I'm so sorry." I sobbed. I put my hand to my mouth and closed my eyes as I broke down.

I had ruined everything. By trying to protect him I had lost him any way. I had tried to avoid hurting him and had done the exact opposite. And worst of all, I had lost him. I never should have gotten into a relationship with him in the first place, I should have just stayed away.

We should have stayed friends. At least then he wouldn't have hated me and I would have still been able to see him. Perhaps love him from afar.

Maybe we shouldn't have even been friends.

We should have never stopped being rivals.


End file.
